Your Guide To Scarlett Johansson’s Statement About Her Nude Photos

Remember back when you had to be a giant movie star to see Scarlett Johansson naked? It wasn’t so long ago that we lived in a world where these didn’t exist. But now they do, and Scarlett’s finally talking about them. Thank God we’re here to translate her statement for you.


“I know my best angles…. They were sent to my husband. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not like I was shooting a porno, although there’s nothing wrong with that either.”

“Look, I’m hot. I know. I’m hot. I say this to remind you that I wasn’t embarrassed about everyone seeing the photos because they were lacking in quality (though the one where i’m weirdly turning around was not my best look). I was embarrassed that everyone saw them, period. I was also embarrassed that I called and yelled at Ryan about it for like an hour before I realized that he didn’t do it. Not exactly aiding the transition out of a marriage.

“And for those of you who said that since I took the photos, it was my own fault? That I should have known better? Go fuck yourself. Seriously. I’ll wait. Who the fuck are you to tell me that it’s my fault that my phone got hacked? I’m a grown ass woman and sometimes that means you want to take some sexy pictures and send them to your husband because trying to maintain a marriage while you both work busy schedules in different places is a pretty fucking hard thing to do. And even if the photos were MORE scandalous- Even if I was blowing him like he was directing Brown Bunny and my name was Chloë, that would still be my goddamn right. And it would not be ridiculous for me to expect that those photos stay private. And anyone who says otherwise is an asshole, and isn’t having enough fun.”

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