1. Because it’s statistically impressive.
2. Because he’s wants to donate it to the less fortunate.
3. Because he wants to donate it to the more fortunate.
4. Because he doesn’t want to be distracted by women.
5. Because he’d rather not have to wear a headband.
6. Because it distracts him from injuries.
7. Because he wants to remind people how great Salma Hayek was in Frida.
8. Because it intimidates other players.
9. Because he doesn’t know about it.
10. Because he’s planning a bigger fashion statement.
11. Because it’s where his power comes from.
12. Because it slows down his opponents.
13. Because he doesn’t have a choice. It’s sentient.
14. Because he wants to make his unibrow famous.
15. Because he’s a big fan of Hollister.
16. Because it gave him more college options.
17. Because it’s good enough to bring back old hashtags.
18. Because he actually doesn’t have one eyebrow. He has two.
19. Because he has natural #swag.
20. Because while people are distracted, he blocks their shots.
21. Because he doesn’t have friends.
22. Because he’s trying to start a trend.
23. Because he doesn’t know this guy exists.
No dude. Other people realized.
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