Possible Reasons Jimenez and Tulowitzki Dislike Each Other:
• Jimenez resents having to move to Cleveland, while Tulo gets to hang out in Denver, which is a secretly awesome city.
• Tulo kept making fun of Jimenez’s receding hairline, by using his first name (Ubaldo) to make puns. Ubaldo hates puns.
• Ubaldo Jimenez always made fun of Tulowitzki for having a weird name.
• They actually don’t, but they figured this was the only way the Rockies or Indians would get on SportsCenter for a while.
• Jimenez didn’t get a contract extension from the Rockies when Tulowitzki did, and Ubaldo has misdirected his resentment toward the Rockies shortstop.*
• Did I mention that Ubaldo has to live in Cleveland?
• Tulo keeps complaining that Jimenez’s terrible 2011 cost him his fantasy league.
*This is the actual reason.
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