17. Derrick Rose
Derrick Rose has only been out of high school for a few years, and he hasn’t aged a day since he was there. Like at all. Like this photo could have accompanied that GQ profile from a couple weeks ago.
Awkward Score: 0/10
Verdict: Not embarrassing.
16. Kobe Bryant
Like rose, Kobe looks almost exactly the same. Only difference? He’s been out of high school for 16 years. It’s eerie how little he’s changed.
Awkward Score: 1/10 (But only because he may be a vampire, which would be awkward.)
Verdict: Not embarrassing, but a little bit terrifying.
11. Joakim Noah
Joakim’s high school photo is pretty okay actually. He looks younger and maybe a bit like a girl thanks to his long hair, but not bad for a dude who constantly looks bizarre these days.
High School Awkward Score: 4.5/10
Today Awkward Score: N/A (He broke the meter.)
Verdict: That headband and the long hair would be slightly embarrassing to anyone but Noah (just look at him now).
8. LeBron James And Carmelo Anthony
So we have to score these two separately.
LeBron Awkward Score: 4/10 (Look at his still-dominant hairline! Plus he looks pretty uncomfortable next to Melo, though I’m not sure we can blame him.)
Melo Awkward Score: 6/10 (Pauly D’s hair from Jersey Shore. That’s all you need to know.)
Verdict: Melo’s hair and LeBron’s current lack of it has this in the slightly embarrassing zone.
5. Kevin Garnett
It’s unclear if he’s wearing a clock around his neck or the Mercedes logo (Edited To Add: or a super blingy version of the Jordan logo). Either way that’s a bad look. Either he’s literally the biggest Flavor Flav fan that’s ever existed or the biggest douchebag. I mean 6 foot 11. That’s big.
Awkward Score: 7/10
Verdict: What’s on your neck KG?! Don’t be a douche. Embarrassing.
4. Andrew Bynum
Andrew Bynum is so young that it’s easy to forget that he’s been in the league for seven years. A lot can change in seven years. For instance you can stop looking like Fat Albert.
Awkward Score: 7.5/10
Verdict: I’ll just put this here again.
2. Pau Gasol
Note: Though Pau was not in High school here, he was just 18.
Bleach! Another look to blame on the boy bands. Pau, Kobe wanted you to be the Black Swan when you were acting like the White Swan. But he wanted me to tell you that he definitely never wants you to be the Yellow Swan.
Awkward Score: 9/10
Verdict: The only thing more embarrassing than this picture is the fact that it’s worse than his brother’s.
1. Jason Kidd
The hat! The braces! The pose! The bed of letters! Ladies and gentlemen, never has a man looked quite as dorky while taking a photo that is supposed to illustrate how good he is at something. This includes chess masters.
Awkward Score: 15/10 (Still not as bad as the modern Noah, but bad.)
Verdict: Gigantically, hugely, endearingly embarrassing.
Modern photos via Getty.