1. Brandon Weeden Got Sacked By The American Flag
Then had one of the worst debuts in recent memory. He threw 4 interceptions and had a QB rating of 5.1. The next worst rating was 39 (Miami’s Ryan
2. A Replacement Ref Had The Worst Flag Aim
Or the best flag aim…
3. Kurt Coleman Lost His Head
Trent Richardson made him look bad, but Coleman had a much better day overall, notching 2 interceptions.
4. Rob Gronkowski Lost The Ball
He had a great football game, but his celebration game needs work.
5. San Francisco Tight Ends Couldn’t Jump
I bet Vernon Davis wishes he could have this one back.
6. The Miami Dolphins’ Second Quarter Scarred Everyone
7. The Packers Tackled So Poorly That Frank Gore Walked Into The Endzone Backwards
Billie Jean is not his lover, she’s just a girl who says that… and so on.
8. Two Players Developed A New Form Of Wrestling
9. The Replacement Refs Forgot How Timeouts Work
The Seahawks got a fourth timeout in the second half of yesterday’s game, which thankfully didn’t come back to bite the refs in the ass, since Magical Football Elf Russell Wilson couldn’t finish the comeback.
10. Two Special Teams Players Who Hardly Play Got In A Fight
Ladies and gentlemen, Shaun Draughn and Christopher Owens! Two guys making less than a million dollars a year between them (which seems like a lot if you’re not an NFL player, but they are), fighting like they matter. Aren’t they adorable?
11. Matt Cassel Said, “Fuck It”
In the fourth quarter, as his Chiefs were being killed, Matt Cassel dropped back to throw a screen pass, but Falcons end John Abraham had it well covered. Did Cassel look for another option? No. Did he scramble? No. Did he throw it away? No. Did he bitchily peg it at John Abraham’s leg and then pout? Yep. You bet he did.
- A US federal judge ruled that Texas can't cut Planned Parenthood out of its Medicaid program.
- According to the World Bank, a child born in 2014, on average, will live for more than 71 years.