1. Brandon Weeden Got Sacked By The American Flag
2. A Replacement Ref Had The Worst Flag Aim
3. Kurt Coleman Lost His Head
4. Rob Gronkowski Lost The Ball
5. San Francisco Tight Ends Couldn't Jump
6. The Miami Dolphins' Second Quarter Scarred Everyone
7. The Packers Tackled So Poorly That Frank Gore Walked Into The Endzone Backwards
8. Two Players Developed A New Form Of Wrestling
9. The Replacement Refs Forgot How Timeouts Work
The Seahawks got a fourth timeout in the second half of yesterday's game, which thankfully didn't come back to bite the refs in the ass, since Magical Football Elf Russell Wilson couldn't finish the comeback.
10. Two Special Teams Players Who Hardly Play Got In A Fight
Ladies and gentlemen, Shaun Draughn and Christopher Owens! Two guys making less than a million dollars a year between them (which seems like a lot if you're not an NFL player, but they are), fighting like they matter. Aren't they adorable?