1. James Harden — Oklahoma City Thunder
James has another beard under that one. But you have to know somebody to see it.
2. Russell Westbrook — Oklahoma City Thunder
Russell technically plays point guard, but he really feels like we’ve moved “beyond positions, man.”
3. Nick Fairley — Detroit Lions
Nick is really excited about Detroit. It’s where all the real artists are these days.
4. Baron Davis — New York Knicks
Baron Davis plays for the Knicks, but his heart is with his pick up team that only plays games early in the morning at abandoned schools.
5. Kevin Durant — Oklahoma City Thunder
Kevin always wears a backpack so he can carry around his favorite Times New Viking LPs.
6. Rajon Rondo — Boston Celtics
Rajon is disappointed by the lack of bike paths in Boston.
7. Von Miller — Denver Broncos
Von was sick of Tim Tebow way before you were.
8. Joe Maddon — Tampa Bay Rays
He coaches this great team. You’ve probably never heard of them*.
*If you live in Tampa.
9. Amare Stoudemire — New York Knicks
Amare hates how mainstream having two working knees is.
10. Serena Williams — Tennis
Serena’s gotten really into photography. No she doesn’t have a real camera, but her Instagram photos are stunning.
11. David Beckham — Los Angeles Galaxy
He’s married to a Spice Girl ironically.
- The election is really, really over now: Jill Stein has dropped her Pennsylvania recount request, making Donald Trump the absolute winner.
- Cuba is preparing to bury Fidel Castro: his ashes arrived in Santiago Saturday, the city where he declared his socialist revolution victorious.