The 13 Best Moments Of The US Men's Basketball Team's First Olympic Game

This team is going to be fun (and funny) to watch.

1. The Crowd (Including Michelle Obama) Sang "Happy Birthday" To A Kid

2. LeBron James Screamed "BOOM" As He Threw Down An Alley Oop

3. Tony Parker Wore Awesome Goggles

He has to wear them as a result of an eye injury sustained in the Drake-Chris Brown club fight. No, seriously.

4. The Floor Mics Picked Up A Lot Of Trash Talk And Cursing

It's cool to hear how these guys actually talk on the floor, rather than the Disneyfied version.

5. Creepy LeBron Was Creepy

6. Kobe Wasn't Having Fun Even Though The US Was Up By 14

7. James Harden Did His Michael Jordan Impression

8. Kobe Finally Had Fun And Was Adorable With LeBron

9. Sideline Reporter Craig Sager Wore Normal Clothes

I cannot express to you how rare this is.

10. Carmelo Gave Kevin Seraphin A Great Big Hug

Charles Krupa / AP

Every single thing about this picture looks uncomfortable. I love it so much that I would tell it that I would match any offer it received up to a billion dollars and then I would follow through on that promise. You know, just to pull a metaphor out of the air.

11. Everyone Scored, Even The College Kid

Fear the brow, indeed.

12. The Entire Team Lined Up To Hug Michelle Obama One-By-One After The Win

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.

13. Oh Yeah, They Totally Dominated France

Top Performers:

Kevin Durant: 22 points, 9 rebounds.

Kevin Love: 14 points, 3 rebounds.

Kobe Bryant: 10 points.

LeBron James: 9 points, 8 assists, and 5 rebounds.

Carmelo Anthony: 9 points, 9 rebounds.

Tyson Chandler: 8 points, 9 rebounds.