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Shane Battier Has The Best Defense Against Being Called A "Flopper"

Leave it to Shane to bring physics into this.

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(AP Photo)

(AP Photo)

Other Possible Shane Battier Defenses Against Flopping:

• My sources at CERN kept telling me we were getting close to the Higgs Boson. I literally went weak in the knees every time I thought about it.

• I had stayed up all night re-reading Freedom the night before. It was hard to stay awake and on my feet, but it was worth it. Patty is just so interesting.

• I was trying to demonstrate the trajectory of the Eurozone crisis should the European Fiscal Compact fail. Me falling down was a metaphor.

• I was telling James Harden why the health care law would be ruled constitutional, and he didn't want to hear it — James is a small government guy — so he knocked me down.

• Michael Lewis is writing another New York Times article about me, and I wanted to make sure my charge-taking game was strong. So sue me.