Jerry Jones is a weird dude. Besides his typical Texas Billionaire obsession with all things large (isn’t it hilarious that Texas Billionaire is an archetype?), he’s rapped, he’s had plastic surgery that seems designed to make him look even more evil than he did before, and he has spoken about his need for some glory hole. No seriously.
I honestly didn’t think Jerry could do anything to surprise me at this point, but during last night’s Cowboys—Giants opener, he raised his crazy rich man game to a whole new level. Just watch.
If I close my eyes, look south, and hope, I can almost hear Jerry’s explanation: “Jerry Jones doesn’t wipe off his own glasses. This is Cowboys Stadium not a welfare office.”
Never change, Jerry. Never change.
- Trump has named H.R. McMaster as his new National Security Adviser, replacing Michael Flynn, who resigned last week.
- Russian ambassador to the UN Vitaly Churkin has died after suffering from cardiac arrest this morning, a day before his 65th birthday.
- Senator Ron Wyden will soon introduce legislation requiring warrants before phones can be searched at the US border.
- A girl's best friend showed up to her date in a fake mustache to spy on her and it is the definition of friendship goals 😎