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If The Baseball Season Ended Today...

The people of Baltimore would finally have a reason to be happy about baseball. The rest of the world would be pretty confused as to why the baseball season had been reduced to three games.

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Other things that would be true if the baseball season ended today:

• People who paid $125 for MLB.TV would be furious.

• The New York Mets would make the playoffs, but would not have money to buy champagne.

• Jeremy Hellickson would win the Cy Young.

• David Wright's .667 batting average would surely be some sort of record.

• The Rays would make the playoffs, but no one in Tampa Bay would notice. (Note: This will probably happen six months from now too.)

• We'd finally get to have a World Series that didn't have home field decided by a stupid all-star game.

• Ubaldo Jiménez would have to serve his spring training-induced suspension next season.

• Everyone who works for the Yankees would be fired.

• Everyone who works for the Red Sox would be fired, but they'd be too drunk to notice.

• Ozzie Guillen would be free to go on a nationwide lecture tour about how much he respects the world's dictators (Fidel Castro, Hugo Chávez, Kim Jong Un, Justin Bieber, etc).