Recently, BuzzFeed Sports has been going back and forth a bit with popular fraternity website Total Frat Move. They took issue with our Frattiest QBs in the NFL post, and made some jokes at my expense. I was unfamiliar with TFM before the incident so I did some research and went through their site and Twitter accounts. That led to the post 25 Reminders That Fraternities Are The Worst.
At that point Roger Dorn (not his real name, but his “nom de douche” over at TFM), proposed that we do an interview exchange for the sites. My interview ran over on Total Frat Move yesterday (You can read it here, and yes, they chose the worst picture of me that’s ever existed). What follows is our interview with “Roger Dorn.”
(Oh and just in case you don’t know. “GDI” means God Damn Independent.)
What is the most intense/craziest hazing you’ve ever come across working for TFM?
To be honest, I don’t hear about too many crazy hazing stories. I mean they’re out there, but they’re usually kept in-house so to speak. There was a recent story from the University of Tennessee where a kid was rushed to the hospital because he was butt-chugging (anal bonging) Franzia wine, allegedly. He wasn’t being hazed, though, which would have been easier to explain.
Your site seems to have a strong Republican lean. Are you all Republicans? What are your thoughts on abortion (an issue that would probably come up with all the sex you all claim to be having)?
The tone is getting serious here, Jackie. By “you all,” I assume you’re talking about the people I work with at TFM. Yes, we are all Republicans. All eight of us. I can only speak for myself on the matter of abortion; I’m against it.
How do you reconcile the homoeroticism and homophobia that seem to simultaneously exist in your community?
This is clearly a major sticking point with you. I’ve never encountered this homoerotica that you seem to think runs rampant in the fraternity culture. I mean I suppose there are fraternities out there that openly promote the acceptance of homosexuals, but that was never my thing, and like you told me, “not that there is anything wrong with it” anyway.
I think you got too caught up in the Animal House scene where Kevin Bacon’s character is on all fours in his whitey tighties meeting the business end of a paddle, asking the wide-eyed creep in the ritual robe, “Thank you, sir. May I have another?” You need to watch the rest of that movie. The reality is much closer to the debauchery of the Delta house. I don’t think anyone’s really bringing home Dean Wormer’s wife for a roll in the hay, but you get my point. You remind me of Flounder in that movie, except a lot skinnier. But really, homoerotic paddle sessions are simply not a part of the fraternity culture. Elephant walks are a myth, as well. Simple pledge scare tactics.
How much of a problem is date rape in frat culture? Is a woman being too drunk to consent rape? Did your frat ever talk to its members about date rape?
Date rape happens. I recently published a story about a fraternity house at Wesleyan University that students widely refer to as the “Rape Factory.” Now, how bad the problem is, I have no idea. I personally don’t know a single person ever accused of rape of any sort, nor will I ever associate myself with someone like that. Shit just ain’t cool.
I’m a lover, Jack, a generous, consent-demanding lover.
How do you justify the way women are demeaned in the frat world (“Slams,” contests to sleep with the most sorority girls, “Hogging,” etc.)? Do you have nightmares of having a daughter who encounters frat guys? If not, why?
I won’t go as far to say I “justify” it. It’s satire. Overly derogatory terms can be funny, and the obvious sensationalism shouldn’t leave any doubts about its sincerity. If you take it seriously, you probably still need to hold someone’s hand while crossing the street.
I’ve never heard of “hogging,” but it sounds hilarious. With consent, of course. Hell yes I have nightmares at the thought of bringing a daughter into this world. Have you seen the rush boob phenomenon on our website?
Is “slut dropping” a real thing? If so, why?
I have literally never heard of that, and did you really link me a story about slut dropping trending in Europe? Your outlandish fraternity perceptions are losing validity, Jack.
I get that you guys hate cargo shorts, but why do you love those dumb shorts with the little animals on them?
I had to ask my coworkers what you were referring to. I’ve never seen those before, so needless to say I don’t own any. It sounds like a loud, gimmicky variation of the standard khaki shorts. I don’t think too many guys are wearing them to be taken seriously.
You guys seem really concerned with telling the world how much better you are, why the overcompensation?
Sometimes a GDI just needs to hear it.
Why do you guys embrace such negative stereotypes?
Because they’re funny. And it seems to drive people like you crazy, and that’s really funny.
Many defenders of TFM call it a satire, but satire implies that you guys don’t approve of the things your site tweets and seems to glorify. How can it both be satirical and embrace the ideas held in this post?
You’re assuming a lot there, GDI Jack. First off, who are these “defenders?” Are you framing your assumption that the ideas in that post are embraced based on comments on the website itself, or the stereotypical frat guy ideology you’ve crafted in your brain to help yourself sleep at night in your cold, vagina-less bed?