1. It Was An Emergency
2. He Was Picturing A Particular Teammate
3. He Thought The New York Post Should Get To Have Some Fun
4. He Takes Team Names Literally
5. Maybe There Was A Fire
6. He Secretly Bet On Miami And Was Celebrating
7. He’s A Stickler For Rules And Regulations
8. He Was Trying To Prove That Nike Shoes Protect You From Injury
9. He Misheard What The Fire Extinguisher Said To Him
10. He Doesn’t Understand Basic Basketball Jargon
11. He Wanted To Help JaVale McGee Feel Smarter
12. The Fire Extinguisher Worked Closely With The Commissioner’s Office On Schedule Planning
13. He Was Trying To Prove LeBron Flops
14. He Wanted To Have The Coolest Injury On The Injury Report
15. Because Jewish Guilt Can Eat At A Person
16. He Saw His Braids In The Reflection
17. You Would Punch Something Too If You Played With Melo
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