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11 Reminders That "Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace" Sucks

As I'm sure you know from the mountains of advertising, the piece of crap that is "Star Wars: Episode I" returns to theaters today, 13 years after we all first tried to claw our eyes out while watching it. The only difference is now it's in 3D. So in case that has you thinking about giving it another chance all of these years later, we thought we'd do a public service and provide you some reminders about its quality.

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