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    Apr 15, 2017

    47 Things You’ll Only Know If You Come From Guernsey

    Guernsey > Jersey.

    1. First off, let's be honest: Literally no one knows where it is.

    Google Maps / Via google.co.uk!4m5!3m4!1s0x480d20e4f4bfb3ed:0x990ad58a5d0d9899!8m2!3d49.465691!4d-2.585278

    "It's by the Isle of Skye, right?" "No...just no..."

    2. When you mention that it is closer to France than England, people always assume you speak French.

    NBC / Via originalpacman.com

    "Non."

    3. Meeting someone from outside of Guernsey for the first time always goes like this:

    "I'm from Guernsey" "Oh cool, do you know [insert name here]?" "That's my brother's ex-girlfriend's cousin." Always.

    Twitter / Josie Ayre / BuzzFeed / Via Twitter: @JosieAyre

    The disappointment on their face is so obvious when you say you don't know their friend.

    4. At least once in your life you will have to explain that Guernsey does in fact have electricity.

    @hairsprayhowell We can confirm that there is electricity in Guernsey!!

    Twitter / @GSYElectricity / @HairsprayHowell / Via Twitter: @gsyelectricity

    Straight from the horse's mouth.

    5. "So are you part of the UK or not?" is another regularly asked question.

    NBC / Via gifsec.com

    We kind of are and we kind of aren't – technically, we're a crown dependency.

    6. You've basically memorised a whole set of answers to regular questions about the island.

    chaostrophic.com

    * It is about 25 miles around.

    * There are about 62,000 people living there – yeah, more than you thought, right?

    * Yes, we have cars, but Sark does not.

    * Yes, there is more than one school.

    * No, we're not all incestuous.

    7. You always laugh it off when someone asks if the weather is tropical.

    8. You've been refused entry into a mainland club before because they didn't believe your Guernsey ID was real.

    Had to show 3 pieces of ID and a Guernsey pound note to prove Guernsey was a real place and therefore my ID was legit #shitby

    Twitter / @CharlyThompson4 / Via Twitter: @CharlyThompson4

    Having an ID card with McLovin on it would have stood you more chance.

    9. Islanders have so much to thank these majestic animals for because...

    10. ...Guernsey milk is quite literally liquid gold.

    If anyone (mum) wants to send me a care package I could really do with some Guernsey milk because I haven't had a cup of tea in 3 weeks

    Twitter / @KatieSLeach / Via Twitter: @katiesleach

    And if you ever move away from the island, you will pine for it every single day.

    11. The 35mph speed limit is admittedly pretty slow.

    Think I broke the speed limit in guernsey on a mountain bike. lol.

    Twitter / @SamuelNewham / Via Twitter: @samuelnewham

    But there for a reason!

    12. A road closure and diversion can literally take you on an island tour.

    Shock every road in guernsey is still fucking closed

    Twitter / @LewisKing111 / Via Twitter: @lewisking111

    If a drive takes more than 10 minutes, it seems like an absolute lifetime.

    13. You never realised that filters in turn weren’t a thing in the UK until you had a friend come to visit.

    It would be helpful if people in guernsey knew how to use filters

    Twitter / @Lozardd / Via Twitter: @lozardd

    "So you just politely wait for the other person to go...?"

    14. Car number plates are just numbers.

    Meanwhile in Guernsey someone just bought number plate '007' for £240k

    Twitter / @KatieEnevoldsen / Via Twitter: @KatieEnevoldsen

    And some people are very passionate about theirs...

    15. Parking at the North Beach on a Saturday is extremely stressful.

    http:/giphy.com

    You always see someone you know while you're trying to reverse into a tight spot.

    16. You pretend you’re Lewis Hamilton everytime you drive up Le Val des Terres.

    A kid dabbed at me when I was going down the val des terres

    Twitter / @Lucas_Robson97 / Via Twitter: @Lucas_Robson97

    Dabbing optional.

    17. Driving on a motorway for the first time is a terrifying experience.

    MTV / Via nz.lifestyle.yahoo.com

    The slow lane is the safe lane.

    18. A weekend away can end up being a weekend stay at the airport thanks to fog.

    Stupid #Fog in #Guernsey 😔 #StrandedAtTheAirport for 20hrs (and counting) 😩

    Twitter / @SheenaJH72 / Via Twitter: @SheenaJH72

    You slowly start to identify with Tom Hanks in The Terminal after the first few hours.

    19. A quick trip to town is nearly impossible because you will bump into at least 20 people you know.

    Walt Disney Pictures / Via acidcow.com

    Pretending you're in a rush is the only way to skip the awkward small talk with Betsy from two doors down.

    20. The Guernsey Press is really, really fantastic.

    21. Tinder on Guernsey = just you and your friends trolling each other.

    I forgot what a terrifying thing Guernsey tinder is

    Twitter / @RbyMxya / Via Twitter: @rubymxya

    "LOL, wanna go on a date?" "No, Matthew. I'll see you at family dinner on Sunday."

    22. You can easily find out someone's complete dating past by just asking around a bit.

    Colombia Pictures / Via giphy.com

    You can even find out the more ~unsanitary~ parts of someone's history if you *really* want to.

    23. The Facebook page "Guernsey eBuy" is a constant source of hilarity:

    why would you buy underwear on guernsey ebuy what

    Twitter / @NatalieCollas / Via Twitter: @nataliecollas

    "Lightly used underwear. £5 ONO."

    24. Everyone automatically assumes you are posh because of where you come from.

    Last night in Guernsey, let's fuck shit up (in a posh way)

    Twitter @HollyLizzieG / Via Twitter: @HollyLizzieG

    And you've learned to embrace it.

    25. Les Folies d'Amour is simultaneously the greatest and the worst thing about the island.

    Film4 / Via designmynight.com

    Guest list: everyone you went to school with.

    26. The Green Hut does the best hangover food on the island.

    Having my first green hut anyone from guernsey will understand what I've been missing

    Twitter / @AsdaOwnBrand / Via Twitter: @asdaownbrand

    The people who work there have seen you in some states.

    27. When Waitrose first came to Guernsey, you went there just to check it out.

    DreamWorks / Via popsugar.co.uk

    You spent far too much on Ironing Water and Essential Waitrose artichoke hearts and then had to ban yourself from going in for a month.

    28. You only ever lock your front door if you’re going on holiday.

    Pics of the day: "Who let the cows out?" Cow found wandering around house in Guernsey (SWNS) http://t.co/dA7g7ReS89

    Twitter / @TelegraphPics / Via Twitter: @TelegraphPics

    But everytime you don't lock your doors, you are at risk of an invasion by some of the island's more curious residents.

    29. You’ve been lost in the lanes of the island more times than you can count.

    Warner Bros. Pictures / Via teen.com

    "Send help."

    30. No one is safe from the Herm burn.

    What's summer without Herm burn? 😳👹

    Twitter / @Aimee_RW / Via Twitter: @aimee_rw

    RIP skin.

    31. The struggle of having no McDonald's is real.

    "Please bring back a McDonalds on the plane with you" - Guernsey resident who knows somebody flying over from the UK.

    Twitter / @Shannon_Brown / Via Twitter: @shannon__brown

    You will pay above market price just for a taste of those salty fries.

    32. Next-day delivery is never next-day delivery.

    gurl.com

    You've spent full days waiting at the window for the post man to turn up only to be disappointed.

    33. It was a huge deal when Topshop finally started delivering to Guernsey.

    The CW / Via viviannen-cruz.tumblr.com

    Now everyone wears the same Topshop jeans.

    34. Outsiders often forget that Guernsey was occupied during the Second World War.

    35. Guernsey gauche is not what it sounds like.

    Eating gâuche like a Guernsey badman.

    Twitter / @Zachary90 / Via Twitter: @zachary90

    It's actually a sweet bread with raisins and sultanas. It is tasty and PC.

    36. Whenever someone mentions Les Miserables, it is practically law to mention that Victor Hugo lived in Guernsey for a time.

    Paramount Pictures / Via redbookmag.com

    This also goes for any celebrities that have ever visited or lived on the island. You know you sound like a bit of a prick but whatever.

    37. You can have breakfast in Guernsey, lunch in Sark, and then dinner in France if you have access to a boat.

    38. You have no idea why you’re referred to as Sarnians, but you roll with it.

    39. The Terrace is one of the best places on the island to spend a sunny day.

    40. The fish and chips at Cobo are probably the best on the island (if not in the world).

    41. Whenever there are dolphins around, you feel compelled to send videos to your mainland friends to prove that Guernsey is pretty special.

    42. Whipping out a Guernsey pound note in the UK is always met with puzzled faces...

    43. ...and you feel like a bona fide millionaire whenever you have a wallet full of them.

    genius.com

    "I'll have two glasses of your second cheapest white wine, please. Feeling fancy tonight."

    44. But shops elsewhere won't accept them.

    I handed over Guernsey money in the oxford circus Topshop once and the woman behind the till looked like I'd tried to pay her in dogshit

    Twitter / @triptych_angel / Via Twitter: @triptych_angel

    "IT'S LEGAL TENDER!"

    45. Our beaches get some of the best sunsets in the world...

    46. ...and watching one at The Rockmount with a pint of Rocquettes is a true Guernsey experience.

    47. And finally, but mostly importantly, Guernsey is without doubt better than Jersey.

    my friends try to rile me up by saying jersey milk is better than guernsey milk and guess what i have no friends anymore.

    Twitter / @Bloody_Mordor / Via Twitter: @bloody_mordor

    Cold hard fact.

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