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    Updated on Nov 28, 2019. Posted on Nov 28, 2019

    22 Things That I Must Know About Santa Claus Right Now

    Honestly, where did you come from?

    1. Let's start with a biggie: what is Santa's origin story?

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    Where did he come from?! Who are his parents? Did they know he was destined for big things? What was teenage Santa like?

    2. Did he just decide to become Santa or did someone recruit him? If someone recruited him, who...?

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    Imagine getting a LinkedIn message asking whether you'd like that role!

    3. Does Santa always have to be a man?

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    Seems a bit sexist to me.

    4. Is it like a James Bond situation where no one talks about how a new person just appears every few films? Or more like Doctor Who where he regenerates? Or does he live forever?

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    5. Does he actually live in the North Pole? Like, really?

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    Is he there the whole year round or just for the Christmas season? Are there some weird tax benefits to living there?

    6. Does he prefer to wear a green or red outfit?

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    Does he wish he could switch things up a bit outfit wise? Like he did for that Coke campaign?

    7. Is Santa actually ripped under that suit?

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    Surely he's pretty strong from carrying all those sacks full of presents?

    8. Does he also keep the beard all year round? Or does he do a big shave post-Christmas?

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    9. How many days of holiday does Santa get? Does he go away? Where does he go? Does he like hot weather? Or is he purely a cold weather kinda guy?

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    "I'll be on me holidays from the 1st January to the 1st December 2020."

    10. How did he recruit the Elves?

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    What are the Elves' employment benefits? Does Santa have a HR manager?

    11. How does he feel about all these imposters running around and impersonating him?

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    12. Has Santa ever gone to a Santa run to just blend in?

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    Try to spot the real Santa.

    13. Is Santa working on making sure that his workshop is sustainable and green?

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    Is he environmentally woke?

    14. What is the whole naughty and nice list about? Like, is it a points system or something?

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    Can you game the system?

    15. How did Santa meet Mrs Claus?

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    I have a lot of questions about this one. Did they know each other before Santa became Santa? Was she okay with his choice to uproot their lives and move to the North Pole?

    16. Who built the sleigh? And how fast does it actually go?

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    Did Santa have to take some sort of special sleigh-driving driving test? Like when you want to drive a lorry? What are the insurance premiums on that thing?

    17. Is driving a sleigh after thousands of whiskies okay?

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    Is Santa the world's most prolific and notorious drunk driver?!

    18. What snacks does he actually want to be left out for him?

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    +50 points for the naughty list next year.

    19. Does he use SatNav now? Or is he a map purist?

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    20. Were the reindeers who bullied Rudolph held accountable for their actions?

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    Is Rudolph still the reindeer king?

    21. How exactly does he get into houses and flats that don't have chimneys?

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    "How does he get into a one of those fancy flats in Canary Wharf? Does the concierge let him in?"

    22. And finally, does anyone ever give Santa Claus presents?

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    I hope he feels loved too.

    What questions do you have for Santa?

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