Quiz

BuzzFeed Contributor

Food

Six Questions That Will Tell You Which Golden Corral Menu Item You Are

Which Golden Corral Buffet Dish Are You?

Gif of Gordon Ramsey happily saying "yes"

Picture of a standard Golden Corral restaurant

Picture of a standard Golden Corral buffet line

Picture of a chef posing dramatically in his kitchen

How would you describe your high school self?

Which of these did you have as your very first pet?

On average, how often do you wake up in the middle of the night screaming, miles from home and covered in blood that isn't yours?

And finally, who is your favorite 20th-century Lithuanian politician?

The guy in that Spiderman movie once said, "With great power comes great responsibility." This quote is entirely irrelevant to mac 'n' cheese, but it's cool as hell. You're probably wondering why you matched with mac 'n' cheese. I don't have an answer. If you were hoping to get a legitimate personality evaluation out of an internet quiz, go read a horoscope. If you were hoping to make your dad proud of you again, go to therapy. This quiz won't help with either of those things.

MAC 'N' CHEESE

Congratulations — you are the best type of person. The rolls are the single greatest thing to be found at Golden Corral. They make angels sing with joy, and gods and kings weep with envy. And best of all, they're carbohydrate-free (this is basic science), so eat as many as you want — even on your diet! Maybe they'll even make your father want to look you in the eye again.

THE ROLLS

Very disappointing, my friend. This is not the way to make your father stop pretending he didn't notice your missed calls. Now, whenever he hears your voice, he won't think of the child he proudly raised — he'll think of a lackluster salad bar where wilted leaves of lukewarm vegetation are picked through by dead-eyed suburbanites. Do better.

WARM LETTUCE

You are the various types of meat that can be found at every Golden Corral's meat carving station! Steak, chicken, pork — you've got it all, you sultan of savory flesh. Ravenous customers point out which meat they want, and a sweaty man in a chef hat carves it for them. They take their plates and say, "Thank you, sweaty man, for my meats. I wonder if the animal it came from had a name or was loved by anyone." The meat carving station is the central hub of Golden Corral society, so be proud of yourself (because your father certainly isn't).

VARIOUS MEATS

You had that dream again last night. The one where you're running down a long dark hallway, with a door at the end, but it never seems to get any closer. Behind the door, you can hear a child whispering, beckoning to you in a language older than mankind. You know that once you finally reach the door and peer through it, you will see the face of God, and it will be weeping.

CORN

I hope you weren't planning on winning a jackpot in Vegas this weekend, because you've just used up all your luck for the year by landing this result! Very few are worthy of the Chocolate Fountain, but you — oh, you glorious specimen of humanity. YOU have earned this distinct honor, you coy little minx. This is, to put it bluntly, where you'll peak in life. Your father now regrets your birth significantly less than he did before this quiz result.

Picture of a glorious fountain of chocolate

THE CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN

About BuzzFeed Community

Community Brand Guidelines

BuzzFeed Community

Sorry, this content is <i>no longer</i> supported.

BuzzFeed Community Guidelines

BuzzFeed Community Leaderboard

BuzzFeed News has breaking stories and original reporting on politics, world news, social media, viral trends, health, science, technology, entertainment, and LGBTQ issues.

All the best animals on the internet. The snuggle is real.

BuzzFeed has breaking news, vital journalism, quizzes, videos, celeb news, Tasty food videos, recipes, DIY hacks, and all the trending buzz you’ll want to share with your friends. Copyright BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.

BuzzFeed News | Breaking News | Original Reporting | News Analysis

Animal Pictures and Videos - Adorably from BuzzFeed

Name

Thanks for subscribing!

Stay up to date with our latest BuzzFeed video. Enter your email to subscribe!

Oops! Upload an image or add text to submit.

BuzzFeed has the hottest, most social content on the web. We feature breaking buzz and the kinds of things you'd want to pass along to your friends.

Browse links

Six Questions That Will Tell You Which Golden Corral Menu Item You Are

Hey, you! Yeah, you. The avid foodie and high-brow person of culture who’s reading this.

Want to figure out who you truly are? Want to show off your culinary prowess to the world? Want to finally make your father proud of you? Then come on down to the local Golden Corral!

That’s right, folks. Golden Corral. A shining Promised Land of gluttony. The pinnacle of American excess.

This is Dave, the inventor of Golden Corral. He is very happy to see you today. He's eager to be your spirit guide on this Golden Corral journey. He's like your dad, except he's proud of you.

It’s time to find your place in this world, my lost and wandering friend. It’s time to discover which Golden Corral buffet item most embodies your rich and ebullient personality.

Six Questions That Will Tell You Which Golden Corral Menu Item You Are

Hey, you! Yeah, you. The avid foodie and high-brow person of culture who’s reading this.

Want to figure out who you truly are? Want to show off your culinary prowess to the world? Want to finally make your father proud of you? Then come on down to the local Golden Corral!

That’s right, folks. Golden Corral. A shining Promised Land of gluttony. The pinnacle of American excess.

This is Dave, the inventor of Golden Corral. He is very happy to see you today. He's eager to be your spirit guide on this Golden Corral journey. He's like your dad, except he's proud of you.

It’s time to find your place in this world, my lost and wandering friend. It’s time to discover which Golden Corral buffet item most embodies your rich and ebullient personality.

Share This Article