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Is Your Cat Secretly Plotting Your Downfall?

Cats, love 'em or hate 'em, are cunning tricksters, sneakily pawing their way around your house, oftentimes planning your demise. They're cute, sure, but watch out, your cat may be up to some very not-cute business.

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  1. Does your cat like to casually walk around your feet when you're at the top of the stairs?

    Yes
    No
  2. Does it seem like your cat just keeps you around so you can feed it?

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    Yes
    No
  3. Does your cat like to lay down on your chest in a futile but probably deliberate attempt to crush you to death with its cute kitty weight?

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    Cat
    No
  4. Does your cat find ways of getting back at your perceived transgressions against it?

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    Yes
    No
  5. Does your cat like to sit on your keyboard when you're writing a really important, life changing e-mail, thus ruining everything you've done so far, and your life by extension?

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    Yes
    No
  6. Does your cat blindly stare off into space, seemingly telepathically communicating with an entity that exists beyond human senses?

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    Yes
    No
  7. Does your cat meow in the middle of the night as if it is communicating to the invisible entity from Question 6?

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    Yes
    No
  8. Does your cat show its frustration with your insolence by putting its paw on your mouth when you're talking to it?

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    Yes
    No
  9. Do you ever wake up to your cat staring at you?

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    Yes
    No
  10. Does your cat ever just look at you and then throw up?

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    Yes
    No
  11. Do you feel emotionally manipulated by your cat?

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    Yes
    No
  12. Finally, does your cat jump up and down with joy when you come home?

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    Yes
    No

Is Your Cat Secretly Plotting Your Downfall?

You got: Yes, your cat is secretly plotting your downfall.

Yes, your cat, like most cats with their humans, keeps you around only so you may feed it and occasionally give it a good pettin'. Watch out, the moment he or she become self-sufficient, it's an "oops, I didn't know I was in your way" sorta trip down the stairs.

Yes, your cat is secretly plotting your downfall.
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You got: No.

You don't have a cat, you have a dog.

No.
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