2. Every year, the sports nerd-gods at EA Sports assign a numerical ranking to every D-1 college player who appears in the NCAA Football franchise.
*Well, to a nameless college football video-game character that happens to have the same number and attributes as one specific college football player in the real world. One musn’t forget that this is an amateur sport that creates no revenue whatsoever.
3. Per the infallible judgments of these nerd-gods, the following are the eleven most-talented scholar-athletes who will play college football next year.
*And remember, we’re inferring that the University of South Carolina DE #7 is in fact All-American University of South Carolina Defensive End Jadaveon Clownney. In fact, it could really be any superstar South Carolina Defensive End who is 6’6” and weighs 275 pounds and has dreadlocks.
4. Behold, ye mighty, and despair!
- From water jugs and dehydrated food, to faraday cages and unregistered vehicles, liberals are prepping for Trump's presidency.
- Barack Obama defended his legacy and vowed to fight Trump if the nation's "core values may be at stake" during his final press conference.
- Former Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue will be nominated as Trump's secretary of agriculture, the final cabinet position to be selected.
- "Will & Grace" will return for a 10-episode revival. Debra Messing and Eric McCormack will reprise their roles in the groundbreaking NBC sitcom 📺