1.
Having a small panic attack when your chair makes a fart noise.
2.
Passing someone when you're walking down the street and keeping up an unnaturally accelerated pace until you're out of eyeshot.
3.
Losing focus on something you're reading and not realizing it until three pages later when you don't understand what's going on.
4.
Getting dressed in the morning and sitting on the edge of the bed staring into space for ten minutes.
5.
Giving yourself a shampoo mohawk in the shower.
6.
Turning over the pillow to put your head on the cool side.
7.
Affecting the voice of a nicer person when you talk to a stranger.
8.
Rehearsing the dialogue of a conversation you're never going to have in your head.
9.
Going into a room and forgetting what you're doing there.
10.
Having favorite mirrors.
11.
Taking a nap during the day, waking up at night and not knowing what day it is, where you are, or even what your name is.
12.
Falling asleep on your hand and waking up thinking you lost your arm.
13.
Watching an old screensaver until that beautiful moment when it hits the corner.
14.
Opening the microwave one second before it finishes so you don't have to hear it beep.
15.
Smiling at dogs while totally ignoring their owners.
16.
Taking out your phone, checking the time, putting your phone away, and still not knowing what time it is.
17.
Fixing your hair when you see your reflection in a window.
18.
Opening the refrigerator and forgetting what you wanted to get out of it.
19.
Rereading an email right after you send it to make sure it looks good.
20.
Straightening your back whenever someone mentions posture.
21.
Yawning whenever you see someone else do it.
22.
Quickly going through the whole alphabet in your head when you need to remember if one letter comes before another.
23.
Discovering a new favorite song and listening to it over and over again until you start to hate it.
24.
Playing an imaginary guitar when your favorite song comes on.
25.
And pretending that the world will end if you step on a crack in the sidewalk.
