The Perfect Ending For Every Character On “The Office”

We say a final goodbye to the crew of Dunder Mifflin on Thursday. What will happen to our favorite Scrantonians?

1. Michael Scott

After his brief return in the finale, Michael Scott’s lovable, oblivious hilarity captures the imagination of Southeast Asia. Taking advantage, he begins to produce his Michael Scarn movies, becoming an unintentional comedy star in the region. He’s never felt so loved.

2. Jim and Pam

After touring around the country in an effort to sell Jim’s startup, they decide to settle in San Francisco. Jim takes a job in social media marketing and becomes the famous ghostwriter of a Twitter called @TheDwightSchrute. Pam, inspired by the local arts scene, starts painting again, and launches a mildly successful Etsy shop.

3. Dwight and Angela

They have seven children together, all of whom Angela home schools. Under Dwight’s management, Dunder Mifflin reaches new sales heights – thanks to paper made from the skin of beets.

4. Andy

A bluegrass and a capella sensation, Andy Bernard launches a long career in music, though his efforts to make the jump to film are stymied by his anger on set, which are captured on TMZ.

5. Oscar

Quits Dunder Mifflin, opens up his own Soul Cycle. It’s a huge hit. There, he meets Lance Armstrong; they get married months later in New York.

6. Toby

Michael casts Toby as the bad guy in the Michael Scarn films. He becomes the most hated man in Southeast Asia.

7. Darryl

After successfully selling his business with Jim, Darryl hangs on as CEO. He proves a hit in the business and sports world, and ends up buying the 76ers.

He hires Ryan as his intern.

8. Creed

His blog, www.creedthoughts.gov/www/creedthoughts, gets a book deal. It never gets published, because his mission on earth is completed and he’s beamed back to the alien space craft before he finishes it.

9. Meredith

She leaves Dunder Mifflin after the reunion, pursuing her true passion as a topless rollerskating waitress. She excels.

10. Erin and Pete

Still working at Dunder Mifflin. They have adopted three children from an orphanage.

11. Phyllis

Vance Refrigeration goes out of business after swimming upstream against cheaper products from abroad. However, Phyllis wins the lottery, and then invests in the Michael Scarn movies. She makes bank and moves to Florida, where she opens a wildly successful salon. She has a season’s pass to Disney World; she prefers Epcot for all the delicious ethnic food.

12. Nellie

Heads back to England to audition for Downton Abbey. Doesn’t go so well, as she meets a magician on a neighboring set and freaks out.

13. Stanley

Left by his wife, he goes on The Bachelor. He cheats on the woman he chooses the next year.

14. Clark

The new assistant to the regional manager, Dwight Schrute.

15. Kevin

Turns out that, like in St. Elsewhere, this was all in his imagination, Scranton inside a snow globe.

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