Which Cabinet Minister Are You?
You're the comeback king: Despite being the first Conservative Party leader in history to not become Prime Minister, you’ve picked yourself up. Now you've somehow become best mates with Angelina Jolie, and done a respectable if uncontroversial job as Foreign Secretary.
You enjoy the finer things in life, not that there's anything wrong with that. You believe that if you work hard, you can play hard. Your colleagues wisely steer you away from live media appearances because they're worried that you might scare small children.
It seems like you always get wheeled out to defend the latest unpopular policy or screw-up. You feel like a bit of a dogsbody, but you put up with it because you never really expected to be a government minister anyway. You try to make the best of it, keep your fingers crossed and hope you survive the election.
You’ve been Home Secretary for years now without anything going too badly wrong, which is an achievement in itself. You have a sophisticated political analysis and have come out with some bold policies to match it – but all the press ever seems to want to talk about is what you’re wearing.
You're not quite sure where you're going in life, even though everyone else seems to think you have a cunning plan up your sleeve. You're unconcerned, and occupy yourself by wearing hats, ballroom dancing, and the odd evening out. A lot of people have you down as the cabinet’s token left-winger, but that hasn’t stopped you privatising the Royal Mail.
A history of getting fired and botching your CV hasn’t dulled your enthusiasm for lecturing the unemployed. You’re not exactly making stunning progress on your flagship welfare reform policy, but you’re sure that’s the civil servants’ fault, not yours. Everyone who criticises you is wrong.
You’ve managed to piss off pretty much every teacher in the country by largely ignoring their opinion on practically everything. You like to play the Westminster game: to you, that's part of the fun. The only thing that winds you up more than the Liberal Democrats is Blackadder Series 4.
You see yourself as a man of the people, fighting the evils of overbearing local government. Whether it’s moaning about bin collections, keeping council tax down, or demanding that people be able to park on double yellow lines, you’re always there to wind up a local councillor or ten.
You're the great survivor: even when you mess something up there's another chance just around the corner. People write you off but you keep popping up somewhere else. You once accidentally hit a woman with a defective handbell. People get your name wrong a lot.