"You can't enter heaven unless Jesus enters you." 👀

Jon-Michael Poff • 2 hours ago

"Why do airplane tickets have to be so expensive?! Having separate continents is so stupid. Retweet if you miss Pangaea."

Jon-Michael Poff • 18 hours ago

Gorl, moths, and so much more.

Jon-Michael Poff • 20 hours ago

"Can’t find them? That’s because they live among us, looking like normal people. The only real difference is they’re going to hell."

Jon-Michael Poff • 2 days ago

Put your memory to the test.

Jon-Michael Poff • 3 days ago

Time for some holiday shopping!

Jon-Michael Poff • 3 days ago

A lot of states really love Elf.

Jon-Michael Poff • 6 days ago

"Southern culture is me typing 'tall' on my phone and having it autocorrect to 'y’all' automatically."

Jon-Michael Poff • 9 days ago

"If you aren’t someone the church would’ve killed 400 years ago, are you even living?"

Jon-Michael Poff • 10 days ago

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Jon-Michael Poff • 13 days ago

*books flight to China to try Christmas Strawberry Cake Milk*

Jon-Michael Poff • 20 days ago

Besides turkey, obviously!

Jon-Michael Poff • 20 days ago

"Sure. This sounds like a great idea. Bon appétit. See you in hell."

Jon-Michael Poff • 23 days ago

"Every day for like three months I went into their account and checked the little box, 'Must change password at next login."

Jon-Michael Poff • 25 days ago

I said DON'T SAY IT.

Jon-Michael Poff • 26 days ago

How observant are you really?

Jon-Michael Poff • 27 days ago

Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!

Jon-Michael Poff • 29 days ago

One delicious salad, coming right up!

Jon-Michael Poff • One month ago

A lot of states really love The Lion King.

Jon-Michael Poff • One month ago

"Remembering to return those Blockbuster movies on time."

Jon-Michael Poff • One month ago