On Jan. 1, Reddit user _AhappyTeddyBear asked people who've "witnessed a wedding objection during the 'speak now or forever hold your peace' portion" to share their stories. Here are 17 of the best ones:
1. The fighting fathers:
The groom's dad interrupted the wedding to ask the bride's father whether or not she was truly a virgin.
2. The ex's last stand:
The bride's ex objected and said he still loved her. They had become friends again after breaking up, and so far as anyone knew, his feelings for her were just platonic, especially given that he had broken up with her. He got kicked out, and the wedding continued, but it was pretty messed up and put a real damper on the day.
3. The undone objection:
The groom himself stood up there and started crying, and, in front of everyone, told the bride that he had fallen out of love with her a while before but hadn't known how to break it off. They both stepped out, but then 10 minutes later came back out and got married because she'd apparently told him she was pregnant.
4. The divine intervention:
I was at an outdoor ceremony once, and a storm was coming in. The pastor was trying to move things along so that we wouldn't get caught in the rain. He asked if anyone knew of any objection, and instantly, there was a loud clap of thunder. To his credit, the pastor just paused a moment and then said, "Anyone else?" and finished the ceremony.
5. The screaming "soulmate":
Nobody had said "speak now," but the groom's ex still decided to get up and scream that he was her soulmate, that she forgave him for "this whole thing," and that they should leave now because he'd proven his point (by breaking up with her five years earlier, falling in love, and holding a wedding). I ate so much cake and got so drunk at that wedding.
6. The love child appearance:
The ceremony was interrupted by the woman the groom was seeing on the side who was there WITH THEIR BABY. It ended with the groom trying to talk everyone into being more open-minded.
7. The stolen show:
One of my friends interrupted his cousin’s wedding to come out of the closet. He couldn’t understand why people were so pissed at him.
8. The dueling pirates:
A member of my wife's family had a pirate-themed wedding. A rival pirate appeared and objected to the wedding. The groom dueled him with rapiers and won.
9. The maid of dishonor:
I went to a co-worker's wedding, and the maid of honor objected and admitted to being the other woman, claiming that the groom had been cheating with her for months. The bride left in tears, and the groom immediately tried to get with the maid of honor, but she told him she wasn't going to hurt the bride further and that he needed to fuck off.
10. And the worst man:
The best man at my step-sister's wedding objected at the rehearsal the night before. The minister was going over the vows quickly while giving instructions on what to do. When he said something about objections, the best man interrupted, saying he had to put a stop to this. He was in love with the bride and was sure she felt the same way. My sister and everyone else was horrified. It caused plenty of chaos and confusion. As far as I know, neither the bride nor the groom ever spoke to him again.
11. The adamant aunt:
At my cousin’s wedding during the exchanging of vows, my aunt shouted, “Wasn’t there supposed to be a part where you could object?”
12. The cattle call:
My wedding was at my grandmother's house out in the country next to a cattle farm. The cows hadn't made a peep until the objection line, when one finally let out a "Moo!" We had a laugh and then carried on.
13. The monster-in-law:
About five years ago, I went to a co-worker's very fancy wedding. The bride and groom were at the altar, smiling and looking deep into each other's eyes, when the attendees were told to speak now or forever hold their peace. I got anxious like I always do, despite the fact that nothing ever happens. But right as soon as my anxiousness had faded away, the bride's mother stood up and objected, blurting some shit about how she didn't want to continue their family with "a man like him," meaning the groom. The bride-to-be ran off crying, and the wedding went fucking silent. The bride's dad took the mom and ran after the bride. The groom, on the other hand, stood there awkwardly until the groomsmen took him away. I had to leave because it was too weird. Apparently the reception went on, though they did not get married that day. They wound up having a private ceremony and are still happily married.
14. The clever ruse:
At a wedding I was at, one guy got up and pledged his undying love for the bride, followed by four or five others objecting for various reasons. By the second or third objection, though, it was clear that the whole thing was a clever ruse. I found out later that it was all set up by the bride as a prank on the unsuspecting groom and their family and friends. It was pretty hilarious!
15. The real-life Jerry Springer episode:
My wife once dragged me to a wedding that I didn't want to go to, but I'm forever grateful she did because I was able to witness one of the greatest spectacles of human drama that has ever taken place. It was like an episode of Jerry Springer mixed with Cops. The bride's lover objected and yelled, "I'll be god-damned if I'm gonna keep my mouth shut and let you steal my woman, you sorry piece of shit!" The deranged man proceeded to come at the groom, threatening to shoot him if he didn't give her up. It wasn't a huge wedding, maybe 40 or so people, but every single one of them went screaming and running, and maybe two people stayed and called the cops. I grabbed my wife's hand and we retreated outside to watch the rest of the scene unfold from the church window.
16. The experimental objection:
I went to my older brother's wedding when I was a kid, and right before the "speak now" portion was done, little 5-year-old me said, "I object!" Everyone turned to me, and I was dead silent because I didn't know what would happen. My dad asked me, "Well, why do you object?" and I said, "I didn't know what would happen if I did," and I was promptly seated.
17. The 1-year-old psychic:
I was a year old when my mom married my stepdad. During the objection portion, I yelled, "STOP!" but no one listened. They divorced six years later. I told you, mom. I fucking told you.
Have you witnessed a wedding objection? Share your story in the comments below!
Editor's note: Responses have been edited for length and clarity.