19 People Who Got Sweet, Sweet Revenge In The Pettiest Way Possible
"As a petty cherry on the revenge cake, I immediately sent her a text thanking her, then blocked her number."
1. The sweetest revenge:
"I was at Disneyland, and it was almost closing time. My friends let me stop by a churro cart and waited for me nearby. While I was in line, a couple of punk kids were punching my backpack. I asked them to stop, but they wouldn’t, so I then looked at their parents, who tried hard to avoid eye contact. The employees, meanwhile, said they were almost out of churros. Upon hearing this, the two kids stopped punching my bag and said they hoped they could still get some. I was next in line, so instead of ordering the one churro I wanted, I ordered all they had left and gave them to my friends. The parents, then, were left to deal with their bratty kids who started throwing a fit once they realized there were none left."
2. The perfect plan:
"While dating an exchange student in college, I found out he was inappropriately messaging other girls on Facebook. I was furious, so I made a fake profile, added his friends and then him, and pretended we'd met years ago through friends. He fell for it. I got my cousin to talk to him on the phone, and I told her to tell him they could rendezvous in NYC, where he could stay with her. While telling me about the trip, he told me he was meeting one of his guy friends in the city. I gave him a ride to the train station and gave him a huge kiss goodbye. Then, when he was almost there, I called him and told him the girl he'd been planning to meet was me! I reminded him he had nowhere to stay in the city and hung up laughing."
3. The pants payback:
"I unpicked the stitching in the crotch of a certain someone's work uniform pants — just enough to start a work shift, but not enough to finish with their dignity intact."
—Jasmine Wilson, Facebook
4. The burning BJ:
"A friend of mine learned that her boyfriend was cheating on her, so she concocted a plan and invited him over to spend the night. Before he arrived, she hid all the soap in the house and then enjoyed a meal featuring a medley of spicy chiles. When he arrived, she offered him oral sex and then laughed hysterically as he scampered around the apartment looking for something to stop the burn."
5. The feisty fakeout:
"My director put a subordinate of mine in a senior position above me. I truly, 100% had no issue with this, and I even took on mentoring her and training her to be the best she could be. In turn, she once complained to my director that I hadn't cc'd her on an email. For six months, she got progressively more petty, until one day I dropped my keys and corporate card on her desk and quit. Fast-forward a year to when that company bid on a project with my new company: I took them all the way through to contract negotiations and even invited her to my corporate office. Her face was priceless. I let her and her bosses (my ex-bosses) stumble through negotiations, and then three days later, I awarded the contract to their biggest competitor. She is now banned from every single project my company pays for."
6. The noisy neighbor:
"I once had horrible downstairs neighbors who enjoyed playing loud shooter video games at 4 a.m. They'd also play the drums so loudly that the entire building would shake. As a result, my children and I didn't get a full night's sleep for more than six months. When we started sleeping at our new apartment a week before officially moving out, I borrowed speakers from everyone I could, pointed them down, and played "I Like to Move It" from Madagascar 3 as loudly as possible, on an 18-hour loop, all seven of those nights. It made the restful sleep I was getting in the new place even sweeter."
—Nicki Sanchez, Facebook
7. The A+ avenger:
"I remember back in fifth grade I had an English test. It was a known fact that I was pretty good at English, so this guy seated next to me started to copy from my paper. He even had the nerve to ask me to move my hand so he could see. I was furious, so I wrote down incorrect answers for him to copy. He then finished his paper and submitted it, and I took some time pretending to revise. In actuality, I redid the entire test before turning it in. When we got the papers back, he looked at my paper first, then confusedly at his own, wondering how it could have happened. That's what you get when you mess with me."
8. The repo revenge:
"I had an ex who cheated on me with one of my friends. He had recently lost his job and fallen behind on his car payments. Instead of telling him I knew he'd cheated, I called the car lot and told them where he was hiding his car. I was with him when his family called and told him his car had been repossessed, and I was grinning from ear to ear on the inside. I dumped him a week or so later and never told him what I had done. He never got the car back."
9. The sartorial surprise:
"I once sewed the buttonholes closed on all of my then-boyfriend's dress shirts when I found out he was cheating."
—Nancy Oscar Woody, Facebook
10. The Diet Coke counterattack:
"Once, at work, my Diet Coke kept getting stolen from the communal fridge, so I made a Mentos bomb from a Diet Coke with Mentos in the lid and put it in the fridge. About an hour later, I heard a shriek. This coworker had obviously been the thief, as she was covered in Coke. She couldn't deny it and had to pay me for every bottle she'd ever stolen."
11. The rancid retribution:
"My boyfriend cheated on me with my best guy friend's girlfriend of seven years. They then moved in together, and he continually cheated on her, but she had no idea. (She thought she was special — they all do.) She didn’t drive, and I knew he always left his car windows down, so I covered a thong in tuna juice and left it on the passenger seat when I knew he had to take her to work again. Unsurprisingly, they broke up."
—Anna Grace, Facebook
12. The coffee creamer comeback:
"Someone kept stealing my coffee creamer at work, so I filled the bottle with water, flour for creaminess, and a shit ton of salt. They clearly used it, but none of my bottles have been touched since."
13. The stinky shrimp:
"In college, a close classmate of mine finally decided to leave her controlling and emotionally abusive boyfriend. He was a very particular person, and he insisted that there be some kind of scent in the room at all times, whether it be a plugin, incense, or a candle. Well, when I was helping her get the last of her things out of his place, she pulled out of her tote a plastic container filled with raw shrimp, which she then put into the ends of all the hollow curtain rods. About a week later, we heard that he was going nuts because 'someone' in the building must be storing garbage in their apartment. We don't know if he ever figured out where the stench was coming from."
14. The canceled check:
"One of my old roommates cheated me out of more than my fair share of rent by claiming it had gone up. This was my first time rooming with someone who wasn't a friend, so I didn't think to ask for proof and took her at her word. I discovered her scam when she was showing my room to a prospective new roommate — I was due to move soon — and overheard her offer my original rate. I also found out from the landlady that we were supposed to be gone a month before my roommate had told me, but because I had sublet the room, I couldn't legally be held responsible for anything. As it turns out, there were fires in the area, so I moved my belongings out ASAP, just a few days before the end of the current month. I'd have to be out the next month anyway. However, I had already given my roommate the check for the last month, but I dropped by the bank on the way out to cancel it. There was no point paying for a month I wasn't going to be there for, and besides, my scamming roommate had already gotten enough to cover it by overcharging me. A day or two later, she blew up my phone demanding the rent, but she eventually came to realize she couldn't legally make me pay. Finally, she gave up and said that she had forgiven me. As a petty cherry on the revenge cake, I immediately sent her a text thanking her, then blocked her number."
—Nora Crane, Facebook
15. The ghost pepper payback:
"Someone at work was stealing my lunch at least once a week. I told my boss, but she just told me I was making 'strong accusations' and couldn't do anything about it. Anyway, they would take only the savory stuff, such as chips, salted nuts, etc., so one day I rubbed corn chips with fresh, ripe ghost peppers. I wish I could have seen the reaction of the person that took a bite out of those chips. My lunch was never stolen again."
16. The Craigslist counterplay:
"When I was in high school, I found out my friend had been giving out my number to people who'd asked for hers and to get discounts at stores by signing up for their mailing lists. So, I put up two ads on Craigslist saying she was selling ducks and a donkey. It was well over a year before she finally stopped getting calls about them. I actually think I got the idea from an old BuzzFeed post years ago."
17. The sister's "Scream":
"I frame art for a living. I had made a really neat monochromatic mosaic of Edvard Munch’s 'The Scream,' and I promised my sister I would frame it for her to hang in her new house. A short time later, we got in a huge fight, so while matting and framing the mosaic, I wrote on the back of it, 'You don’t deserve to have this, but I promised I would give it to you, so I am because I’m a better person than you.' Then I put the protective paper on the back. She still has it and now it’s hanging in her new house — with the protective paper still intact. We got over the fight, but I still giggle with satisfaction about it."
—Heather Hawkins, Facebook
18. The toilet paper payback:
"One time I had a roommate who insisted I didn't clean enough. I was dealing with a sick relative at the time and wasn't home a lot; plus anyone who knows me knows I'm a clean freak. Meanwhile, within the first month of living together, she hadn't cleaned a single square inch of the dorm room. We got into a huge fight and didn't speak to each other for a week, and eventually I moved out. Back when she moved in, I'd told her we could share some of my things (cooking utensils/appliances, shower curtain, etc.), so when I moved out, I made sure to take everything, right down to the fucking toilet paper, while she was gone to class. I've never felt so petty, and never felt so damn satisfied."
19. The doo-doo doorsteps:
"I live next to the only grassy area on our block in New Orleans, and all of my neighbors bring their dogs there to potty and refuse to clean up afterward. Children have to walk through it to get to the daycare which owns the lot, and I often witness them stepping in dog shit, not to mention I have to pull my trash cans through the same lot every week. Well, I have a really nice security system with a powerful zoom, and I also know where 90% of my neighbors live because I recognize their dogs when they're outside on their porches. Nowadays, every time they don't clean up their shit, I pick it up and put it on their doorstep. I will do this every single day until I move from this neighborhood."
What's your most memorable story of petty revenge? Tell us in the comments!
Editor's note: Responses have been edited for length and clarity.