We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about their worst experience in a public bathroom. Here are their cringeworthy responses.
1. "It was like someone had intentionally missed the toilet with a shit hose."
"When I was about 10 years old, I was out shopping with my mom, and I had to go to the bathroom. When I walked in, it smelled absolutely putrid, but I really had to go. When I opened the door to the first stall, there was liquid shit absolutely everywhere — on the toilet, on the floor, on the walls. So I went to the next stall, and it also had shit everywhere. Keep in mind: Neither toilet had been tainted, but every other surface was wrecked. It was like someone had intentionally missed the toilet with a shit hose. After going through four other wrecked stalls, I finally found a clean one. But after I came out, I came upon a woman who was completely pantless with shit running down her legs. I had no idea what to do. She was coming at me and was about to touch me for some reason. Whatever the case, I've never fled a bathroom so quickly in all of my life. As an adult, I feel bad for her, but as a child, all I was thinking about was getting away from this pantless lady covered head to toe in shit."
—submitted by Dabria Dahlhaus, Facebook
2. "Suddenly I felt a little hand start petting my foot."
"I was in a stall minding my own business when suddenly I felt a little hand start petting my foot. I have a tattoo of a dragonfly on it, and apparently the toddler in a stall with his mother felt the need to touch it. I heard his little voice say, "Oh so pretty," and the mom just started laughing. All of a sudden, the toddler's face was in my stall while he was lying on the disgusting bathroom floor, and he started talking to me. I had no idea what to do. I mean, what do you do with a random kid watching you go to the bathroom?!"
—submitted by Cassandra Reuscher, Facebook
3. "I would estimate the circumference of the shitsplosion to be somewhere between a saucer sled and a hula hoop."
"It was the 4th of July on Coney Island, and the only restroom available was in the subway station. While waiting in line for a urinal, a man entered, bypassed the line, and started rattling on the door of an occupied stall. 'Open up, it's an emergency,' he cried, but the person in the stall ignored him. After a few more moments of rattling, the man loudly proclaimed, 'Sorry, everyone!' and then backed into a corner, lowered his pants, and exploded all over the tiled wall and floor. I would estimate the circumference of the shitsplosion to be somewhere between a saucer sled and a hula hoop. We all evacuated the place like a bomb had gone off."
—submitted by DoctorAwesome
4. "She started yelling, 'WIPE MY BUTT!'"
"We were out to eat when my little sister had to use the restroom. My parents then asked me, a 10-year-old, to take her to the restroom. I went with her and waited outside the stall while she did her business. She started pooing really loudly, and I was terribly embarrassed because women were coming in and out of the restroom. After my sister was done, she started yelling, 'WIPE MY BUTT!' At 10 years old, I was not about to start wiping butts, so I said she had to wait until my mom came in to check on us. We waited for what seemed like an hour while my sister continued to yell, 'WIPE MY BUTT!' A genuinely scaring experience."
—submitted by Lucy Gaudiano, Facebook
5. "Next thing I know, there was demonic screaming coming from the stall next to me — Exorcist shit, I swear to god."
"About eight years ago, my mom and I were at our local mall, and before we left, we stopped at the bathroom in J.C. Penney. There were only two stalls, and there was a woman in the first one. Maybe she was getting extra toilet paper or something, because she backed out slowly and went into the second stall. I didn't think anything of it, so I went into the first stall. Next thing I know, there was demonic screaming coming from the stall next to me — Exorcist shit, I swear to god — and I could hear the toilet flushing over and over. I giggled at first because I didn't know what was happening, but after a second, I was like FUCK THIS. When I left the stall, my mom was standing there with a frightened look on her face, and the two of us got the fuck out of there. NO TIME TO WASH MY HANDS. From the car we called the store to let them know there was some weird shit happening in the women's bathroom. Their response: 'Ma'am, are you sure it wasn't coming from the men's room?'"
—submitted by Michelle Regna
6. "'My boyfriend just left me way too turned on,' she said."
"Right before the bell was about to ring for the next class, I walked into the girls' locker room to get ready for P.E. But as I was getting dressed, I heard moaning sounds coming from one of the bathroom stalls. A few minutes later, a girl came out all by herself and looked at me and said, 'Oh, sorry about that. My boyfriend just left me way too turned on, I had to do something so next class wasn't so unbearable.' Then she just walked out."
—submitted by emsellie
7. "The toilet clogged and my Hershey squirts overflowed, going from my own stall to the floor of the stall next to me."
"One time in high school, I ate something that upset my stomach a lot, and I could feel the runs coming on. I was just about to do my business in the girls' bathroom when another girl walked in and started changing clothes in the stall next to me. I decided that I couldn't hold it anymore and finally unleashed my liquid doo, and it was embarrassingly noisy. If that wasn't bad enough, the toilet clogged and my Hershey squirts overflowed, going from my own stall to the floor of the stall next to me. The girl screamed, picked up her clothes, and ran. I was frozen in the stall for a good 30 minutes, too embarrassed to move."
—submitted by katiel4d499761a
8. "A girl then opened the door and immediately apologized, but she didn’t leave!"
"One time I thought I had locked the stall door, but somehow it didn't latch. A girl then opened the door and immediately apologized, but she didn't leave! She just stood there talking to me with the door open and told me about how she had done this before — all while I was in the middle of peeing. Most awkward experience ever."
—submitted by karissay4e90a9395
9. "Some drunk lady came charging into the stall and threw up all over me."
"I had to use the bathroom really bad, but when I got there, the stall door wouldn't lock, so I just closed it and hoped nobody would notice. As fate would have it, some drunk lady came charging into the stall and threw up all over me."
—submitted by allisonk41f237239
10. "Urine even splashed onto my purse!"
"While using the restroom, a lady in the stall next to mine suddenly let out a heavy sigh of pleasure and peed all over the floor (and seat, I presume, as it appeared as though she was hovering), urine even splashing onto my purse! After spraying down the entire stall, she left without wiping anything up or reacting to my own gasps of horror and disgust, and she didn't even wash her hands."
—submitted by Katie Gates, Facebook
11. "He started masturbating furiously."
"Once I was at a rest-stop bathroom in Georgia at around 7 in the morning. I was in a stall when a guy came in and started masturbating furiously. I cleared my throat to let him know there was someone else in there, but he continued his business anyway."
—submitted by AndThenISaySomething
12. "He started tap-dancing in the middle of doing his business."
"I was in a Walmart bathroom, and there was an elderly man in the stall next to me. He started singing an old ragtime tune and tap-dancing right in the middle of doing his business. When he finally came out, he was wearing a white button-up with suspenders, a bowtie, and a bowler hat. As he washed his hands and continued whistling the tune, he turned and saw me, jumped in the air startled, and got mad at me for interrupting his 'me time.' He even swore at me when I saw him outside the bathroom."
—submitted by Aidan Becker, Facebook
13. "I found a bloody tampon stuck to a stall."
"While working at an elementary school, I found a bloody tampon stuck to a stall in the fifth-grade boys' bathroom."
—submitted by Julie Alford, Facebook
14. "He had evidently eaten right before he got sick because I could tell exactly what he had ingested."
"Back when I was working in maintenance for a large department store, I had just arrived for my morning shift and hadn't even had time to set up my cart before I was called to the men's restroom. I got in there and discovered that someone had apparently stolen a six-pack of beer, downed half of it, and gotten violently sick in one of the urinals. He had evidently eaten right before he got sick because I could tell exactly what he had ingested. There was vomit clogging the urinal and splashed all over the floor. It took an entire hour to clean up."
—submitted by renattanicolem
15. "'Why don’t you sit?!' the girl screamed, staring at me through the crack in the door."
"I went into a bathroom and was squatting to do my business when I heard a woman in front of my stall door scream, 'Why don't you sit?!' I looked up, and there was a girl staring at me through the crack in the door. By the time I was finally done and getting ready to wipe myself, I was losing my temper. I felt embarrassed because I needed to wipe, but I didn't want to do it with her watching. Suddenly, she started trying to open the door, saying, 'Let me in! You need to sit!' Finally I had had enough, and I yell back, 'It is not your business! Go away!' The girl's mother got mad about me yelling at her daughter and pulled the girl away. I finally finished up and washed my hands as the mother glared and the daughter mumbled, 'She doesn't sit!'"
—submitted by Claudia Hawkins, Facebook
16. "I'm not sure how it's possible to be so close and still miss."
"On an overnight bus ride, we made a pit stop at a rest stop on the side of the road to grab some snacks and use the facilities. Our tour guides were rushing us and told us to just use the men's room as well as the ladies'. So I went into the men's room, and there was a huge turd right in front of the toilet. I'm not sure how it's possible to be so close and still miss."
—submitted by katies4ee87c79f
17. "Only my lower-body strength and two thin layers of fabric kept the janitor from having a very bad day."
"It all started at breakfast when I was, in effect, tasered from my colon out. The classic 'Whup!' could not do this sensation justice, nor could traditional clenching methods. Only my lower-body strength and two thin layers of fabric kept the janitor from having a very bad day. Upon reaching the men's restroom, an unholy hell of bad decisions was unleashed on the startled American Standard. Blood, sweat, and tears accompanied an amplified symphony of banshee-like screams. I didn't even take my phone out of my pocket for fear of voiding the warranty.
After 20 minutes of waterboarding porcelain, I reached down to grab some paper and started to measure out a rather generous portion. But with one overenthusiastic pull, the stainless steel dispenser crashed to the floor, and the giant roll of paper rolled under the other stalls and out to the urinals.
After confirming that I was alone in the bathroom, I eyed the roving roll, did a quick left and right, and made my way toward it. As I grabbed the roll and was shuffling back to the crime scene, a pair of consultants walked in the door while my bare buttocks were fully exposed. I gathered my pride, sat down, and put the pieces of my lower half back together."
—submitted by Tommy Rowan, Facebook
