1.
Me winning fake The shampoo arguments in the bottles shower
2.
Baby Yoda implies the existence of a Sporty Yoda, Scary Yoda, Ginger Yoda, and Posh Yoda
3.
White dudes will be like "there he is, the man, the myth, the legend!" And it's just Garrett
4.
Me: "Can I have some friends over ?" My mother: "who is coming?" Me:
5.
ghosts bumping into the bitches who bought their house
6.
This is peak meme. So simple. So deep. So powerful. The avant-garde of memes.
7.
There is a YouTube video titled How to Unzip A Compressed File Folder. It has 410k views. Go on and write your blog, girl. Somebody wants to see it.
8.
i’m so poor that i don’t even know what they’re in https://t.co/ZGaR8mwKLZ
9.
your crush can have a little red flag, as a treat
10.
Her: I want Airpods for Christmas Me: here you go
11.
*opening gifts* me: :D my mom: do you love it ⍢⃝ my dad: HEY EVERYONE PUT YOUR WRAPPING PAPER IN THIS BAG. Hey, tell your, TELL UR SISTER TO PUT THE WRAPPING PAPER IN THIS BAG. CAN YOU GRAB THAT PIECE FOR ME. Here what IF I HAND YOU THE BAG. DONT JUST THROW IT OVER THERE, I—
12.
Me ordering another vodka sprite on the verge of a blackout
13.
calling a guy “my ex” -not true -but makes it seem like he was my boyfriend calling a guy “someone i only slept w 4 times over the course of three weeks but spent 6 months crying over” -true -but makes me look pathetic
14.
“He sent you a merry xmas text today because he’s desperate and wants attention. And he knows YOU will give him attention. But did he give you attention 2 weeks ago when YOU wanted it? NO.”
15.
When you come back home smelling like another dog:
16.
When my therapist asks how my anxiety level has been
17.
White woman just walked off the elevator chuckling and said “so do we say ‘happy impeachment” or ‘merry impeachment?’” I almost fell over.
18.
Queen Elizabeth knows bad vibes when she sees it
19.
They found her old tweets
20.
10pm at your parents’ house as an adult feels like 3am at your own apartment.
21.
Why he looking like “and I’ll do it again, bitch.” Lmaoooo https://t.co/8F6QynXy3a
22.
how to get attention on twitter: strategy 1. strategy 2. https://t.co/61HMdIXgIu
23.
january rent watching all your christmas and new years eve plans
24.
using gift cards from last year to buy christmas gifts for this year
25.
Me getting dressed to go to work when there’s an 8 year old YouTuber that made $26 million this year
26.
Omg I’m Having a hard time decorating my new crib😩which one y’all think?
27.
yes daddy: -overplayed -unoriginal -insinuates daddy issues yes chef: -powerful -makes a statement -one way ticket to flavortown
28.
Saying “See you next year!” on December 31st - Corny and annoying - Everybody hates you - Seriously this joke sucks Saying “See you next year!” on January 31st - Mysterious - Are you going on a long adventure? - You may not understand how years work
29.
Dudes Play NINTENDO SWITCH But Never INTEND TO SWITCH Their Bed Sheets
30.
THIS LITTLE GIRL I’M BABYSITTING JUST ASKED ME IF I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND I SAID NOT ANYMORE AND SHE SAID “BOYFRIENDS ARE A WASTE OF TIME” AND THEN SHE TURNS TO HER BROTHER AND TELLS HIM “YOU’RE GONNA BE A WASTE OF TIME”
31.
When you see a tweet that’s just a little funny