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    Posted on Jan 30, 2018

    27 Hilarious Tweets From This Month That Deserve Like A Million More Retweets

    "We went to the planetarium today and when the voiceover said 'this is the earth' one of the kids booed."

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    i thought this lady was fuckin staring at me for 5 minutes till i realized it was a magazine

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    When my youngest brother was little he was being bullied and went to my parents for help. They told him “Sticks and… https://t.co/sLBvMUwmDR

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    Sometimes I just look at pictures of the earth from space and I marvel at how beautiful it all is.

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    Twitter: @luissdm_ / Via Twitter: @luissdm_

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    How much spinach I start cooking vs how much I end up with.

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    canceling plans is ok. staying home to cook is ok. disappearing for a bit to get your life together is ok. resurfac… https://t.co/KqT37p9rJD

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    Twitter: @_katehowe / Via Twitter: @_katehowe

    9.

    Saw my ex working at McDonalds and she spit in my drink, acting like I'd be disgusted LMAOOO bitch I ate your ass t… https://t.co/r3DhZ6ebNG

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    Working on my five year plan: 1. ? 2. ? 3. ? 4. ? 5. And then they'll all be sorry.

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    Pausing my music on the train to listen to a fight

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    Twitter: @ansontm / Via Twitter: @ansontm

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    I Was café con leche but you were Lactose intolerant -Rupi Kaur

    14.

    My new thing is finding birds that look like they are twice divorced

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    LMFAO my dad is going through his bank statements and goes “what’s U-L-T-A? $275 ? Is that utilities?” And my mom g… https://t.co/GBJeqTOX0t

    16.

    me: thank you for that glass of milk earlier sperm bank employee: what glass of milk me: the glass of milk that… https://t.co/DKwwEnzDVk

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    Twitter: @Trekles / Via Twitter: @Trekles

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    Twitter: @a_lolbrarian / Via Twitter: @a_lolbrarian

    20.

    someone: you don’t have to apologize for everything, you’re good me: oh ok......ˢᵒʳʳʸ

    21.

    My boyfriend: *leaves the room* The fbi agent in my webcam: No I totally see what you mean. Me: right? He's weird… https://t.co/WQiZ0EuIyf

    22.

    So my little cousin is starting taekwondo and..

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    Twitter: @SamClark_23 / Via Twitter: @SamClark_23

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    My grandma ain’t give nobody time to wake up good and brush they teeth this morning

    26.

    Millennials get a lot of shit but the baby boomers are all addicted to pain pills and generation z is eating tide p… https://t.co/1z4kxDkUrD

    27.

    Me when y'all applaud men for doing the bare minimum:

    UPDATE

    This post has been updated to reflect BuzzFeed's editorial standards.

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