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    35 Viral Tweets From This Month That Are Funnier Than They Have Any Right To Be

    "Middle-aged people send “k” texts not knowing the weight it carries."

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    $35 plus $5 for $40 with free shipping Shipping

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    priest: do you promise to love your partner until cancel culture do you part? bride: and I oop groom: and I oop priest: sksksksks tea I now prounounce you skinny legend and wife

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    Middle aged people send “k” texts not knowing the weight it carries

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    the school nurse giving me ginger ale and saltines to fix my sprained ankle

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    teachers: the exam isn't that hard the exam: you walk in the kitchen with no legs and your cousin is boiling fruit loops. she's a virgin with 8 kids. how old is the neighbors dog?

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    Beyoncé listening to Lemonade with Jay-Z for the first time

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    Carrie Underwood: “he's probably buying her some fruity little drink 'cause she can't shoot whiskey” 8 yr old me: wow how embarrassing

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    When I accidentally left my fork in the microwave while I was heating up leftover Chinese food

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    i ordered cookie dough to my apartment at midnight and the delivery rider asked if i was okay i mean what do you think robert

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    why do essay conclusions exist, i said what i said scroll up !!!!

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    every day men leave their homes with no bag, no water bottle, no lip balm, no hand sanitizer, no extra layer in case they get cold, just keys and a wallet shoved into their pocket. chaotic and reckless

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    sephora workers to me the moment i enter the store

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    why McDonald’s wanna call they sprite a soft drink bitch that is hard liquor

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    A Shakespeare character: *wears a thinly veiled disguise* Their closest friends and family:

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    me after crying for six hours straight: https://t.co/53VPQa1WwA

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    Just found out my friends have sex before marriage and won’t meet me in heaven

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    pork: *exists* the inventor of pulled pork: I have got to pull this

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    listening to ariana grande on shuffle:

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    Me telling my friends how I’m about to marry somebody I met 15 minutes ago vs me talking about the same person a week later

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    My toxic trait? Eating the lunch I brought to work as a snack at 10:00AM

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    yall will have imposter syndrome over shit youre actually good at but confidently put "proficient in excel" on your resume

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    the list of things Lana Del Rey invented -cocaine -your dad -california -winged eyeliner -the national anthem of the USA -the gays who scam rich men -old men -all things cherry flavoured -furries -cigarettes -lorde,halsey and melanie martinez -sex -vintage filters -iphone 6s+

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    When he’s rude, emotionally unavailable, funny and compliments you once:

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    how I be looking spending unnecessary money

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    how Ariana Granda washes her hands https://t.co/aV91KvVWr7

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    Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid

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    *"Gasolina" by Daddy Yankee start playing* Me:

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    Beyoncé and the kombucha girl snapped on this one

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    me to my sleepover guests after my mom just finished cussing me out in front of them

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    it’s always “why you killing them” never what’s killing you? 😔

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    Absolutely no one: Anime villains who think they've already won:

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    Vaccinate your kids i’m not running a fucking day care centre down here