1.
“you think you can do these things nemo but you just can’t!”
2.
kids in 2019: when i grow up, im going to... global warming:
3.
my family going through my phone after i die:
4.
Your dad small as hell https://t.co/evAcF1NaBx
5.
“could a depressed person do THIS?” she says at 12:15am as she folds her laundry that came out of the dryer six days ago
6.
7.
[during sex] Me: hurt me Him: your metabolism isn’t what it was in high school and it shows Me: wait Him: you never lived up to your potential because you rely on talent instead of work ethic & immediately abandon everything you’re bad at because you’re afraid of failure
8.
me, stepping spider on into the shower the ceiling trying not to watching me do anything to anger the spider
9.
one of our team members handed in their notice like this 😂😂😂
10.
you can tell how sad someone was at school by how much they attached themselves onto their English teachers for a sense of stability
11.
Someone please call the police
12.
Me explaining to ⠀ ⠀ ⠀My cat my cat that I ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀pretending won’t tell anyone ⠀⠀ ⠀he cant speak if he can speak
13.
Can someone write an article on millenials killing the doorbell industry by texting "here"
14.
Me after one blunt
15.
I just wanna be shown off like a hospital bracelet on Snapchat
16.
“get your finger out of my face” asmr edition
17.
bro the first few weeks of pokémon go was the closest we’ve ever been to world peace
18.
50 worse than the IRS lmao https://t.co/1eTPzSK2pU
19.
me explaining to my boyfriend why we’re going to straight pride