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25 Tweets From This Month That'll Make You Laugh Way Harder Than You Should

"Every group chat births a second smaller group chat without the annoying people, and if you think yours doesn't, I have some bad news."

1.

Twitter: @SiduVargas / Via Twitter: @SiduVargas

2.

me: white woman’s kitchen: H E L 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 L && O 𝒻𝒶𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓎 yum coffee john 3:16

3.

all 6 of my brain cells assembling so I can spell necessary

4.

quick grammar lesson! you’re: you are my: fire the one: desire believe when: i say i want it: that way

5.

16 year old me: i can’t wait until i’m older life is gonna be so fun me now:

6.

7.

any catholics out there giving up hating the gays for lent or is it just ice cream again

8.

summoning circle, hope this works 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 A cure 🕯 For being clums- 🔥 🕯 Ah shit 🔥 Ah no 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 Oh no oh no 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥

9.

all i read was: cool dog isn't a narc, becomes scientist https://t.co/qZF35lLp22

10.

I’ve learned in my 27 years of life that you cannot send 2 questions to a man in the same text message, or separate messages before receiving a reply to the first one. You will only get an answer to one of your questions. Simple creatures. Slow down for them.

11.

*press for love and affection* me:

12.

amazon: we shipped your package! it should deliver by 8pm tomorrow! me, nose pressed against the door, fogging the glass as i breathe: 𝗽𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗱𝗴𝗲

13.

Me leaving the house without eating breakfast, dehydrated, and with 2 hours of sleep

14.

15.

10 million B.C. : Fish: https://t.co/Ys8ga1sU0y

16.

socrates: to do is to be plato: to be is to do scooby: do be do

17.

Me unlocking my phone for the 60th time in 5 minutes with 0 notifications

18.

[dolphin taking scantron test] A B C D E 1. [▫️] [▫️] [▫️] [▫️] [▪️] 2. [▫️] [▫️] [▫️] [▫️] [▪️] 3. [▫️] [▫️] [▫️] [▫️] [▪️] 4. [▫️] [▫️] [▫️] [▫️] [▪️] 5. [▫️] [▫️] [▫️] [▫️] [▪️]

19.

12 year old me standing at my moms doorway at 5 am to tell her I threw up

20.

Babies stare a lot for someone who doesn’t know how to fight https://t.co/gN0KUtDPjp

21.

22.

My brain is like my internet browser. I got like 19 tabs open , three of them are glitching... and where the fuck is that music coming from

23.

6 y/o nephew: "Uncle Mike why you don't have a wife?" Me: "I'm gay." Nephew: "What that mean?" Me: "I like men not women." Nephew: *silence*......."So why don't you have a husband?" Me:

24.

Every group chat births a second smaller group chat without the annoying people, and if you think yours doesn't, I have some bad news

25.

no one: not a soul: literally NOBODY: me:

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