Or this story about a woman accused of putting "porn-filled Easter eggs in strangers' mailboxes."
Most often, though, these stories begin with "Florida man..." — to the extent that there is a whole genre of Florida Man news stories.
Which is what brings us here today — except that today's Florida Man, unlike most, is accused of nothing more than pure heroism for capturing an alligator in a plastic garbage bin to protect his children.
In a video posted to his Instagram earlier this week, Florida Man, whose real name is Abdul Gene Malik, pushes an open trash bin toward an alligator on the sidewalk in front of his house in Orlando, attempting to force the gator inside.
For each step forward Abdul takes, the alligator takes one step back.
Unable to see the alligator's entire body, Abdul then asks onlookers to tell him when the alligator's head is inside the bin.
After lunging toward the gator with the bin, Abdul then pushes the lid forward, hitting the alligator on the head.
Stunned, the alligator whips its tail back and forth while Abdul attempts to get its entire body inside the bin.
Which he does while slowly tilting the bin back upright!
You've honestly just got to watch the whole thing.
And while that's the video that went viral, it's not the end of the story. After capturing the gator inside, Abdul wheeled the bin across the street and down a hill in order to release the alligator into a lake.
When asked if he was scared while trying to capture the alligator, Abdul told BuzzFeed, "A little bit, but not really. I’m a vet — I’ve been through it all! I was just in full dad mode trying to protect my children."
He also said he was "determined to return the gator back to its home peacefully without causing any harm."
Reactions to the video, which quickly spread to TikTok and Twitter, poured in.
This one hit the nail on the head.
Tune in for another Florida Man story, like, tomorrow!