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This Is Why Avocado Toast Is Highly Overrated

"I'm not gonna get a boner over it," said Anthony Bourdain, who is 100% correct.

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Brunch is pretty great. If I could (1) afford it and (2) maintain a job while day-drinking, I'd probably do it five times a week.

Between the friends, the drinks, and the food — like eggs Benedict, shrimp and grits, and huevos rancheros — what's not to love?

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Cut to last weekend when my friend John* — after scanning the brunch menu FILLED with complex, savory options — ordered avocado toast.

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*To borrow a line from Dancer from the Dance, I "did not change the names; there are no innocents to protect!"

First, let's look at it for what it is: LITERALLY a slice of bread and mashed-up avocado. Basic and uninspired.

Jon-Michael Poff / Getty Images / ilietus / AlexStar

Don't give me that sprouted grain bullshit.

Sure, restaurants usually jazz it up with tomatoes, jalapeños, onions, pepper, etc. — but in that case, it's basically guacamole on a big-ass chip.

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Even at its fanciest, it cannot begin to compare with chicken and waffles or a savory omelet.

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Even Anthony Bourdain agrees! It's fine, sure, but NOTHING TO GET A BONER OVER.

  1. Anyway, tell me I'm right: Avocado toast is def overrated.

    Anyway, tell me I'm right: Avocado toast is def overrated.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    You know, you're 100% right!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Nope, avocado toast is the BEST!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Why don't you mind your own business, buddy?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Did you actually get paid to write this?
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Anyway, tell me I'm right: Avocado toast is def overrated.
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