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Food

This Is Why Avocado Toast Is Highly Overrated

"I'm not gonna get a boner over it," said Anthony Bourdain, who is 100% correct.

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Brunch is pretty great. If I could (1) afford it and (2) maintain a job while day-drinking, I'd probably do it five times a week.

This is a cute pic of me and my friends last weekend. I'm in the red coat.
HBO

This is a cute pic of me and my friends last weekend. I'm in the red coat.

Between the friends, the drinks, and the food — like eggs Benedict, shrimp and grits, and huevos rancheros — what's not to love?

Lauripatterson / Getty Images, Artpritsadee / Getty Images

Literally nothing. It's all great!

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EXCEPT:

Cut to last weekend when my friend John* — after scanning the brunch menu FILLED with complex, savory options — ordered avocado toast.

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*To borrow a line from Dancer from the Dance, I "did not change the names; there are no innocents to protect!"

And I SNAPPED. I have officially HAD 👏🏼 IT 👏🏼 with the avo toast hype, and I'm here to end its dominion over the brunch menu and everyone's Instagram feed.

HBO

First, let's look at it for what it is: LITERALLY a slice of bread and mashed-up avocado. Basic and uninspired.

Don't give me that sprouted grain bullshit.
Jon-Michael Poff / Getty Images / ilietus / AlexStar

Don't give me that sprouted grain bullshit.

Sure, restaurants usually jazz it up with tomatoes, jalapeños, onions, pepper, etc. — but in that case, it's basically guacamole on a big-ass chip.

Even at its fanciest, it cannot begin to compare with chicken and waffles or a savory omelet.

Kevinruss / Getty Images, Renphoto / Getty Images

"But it looks so ✨pretty✨!" you say while standing on a chair to photograph your plate.

And you know what?

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BUT A CUTE INSTAGRAM PHOTO DOES NOT A MEAL MAKE. MOVING ON.

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My other beef with avo toast is (obviously) the price tag. It's literally so expensive some jerk argued you could afford to buy a HOUSE if you gave it up.

Unlike avocados, money doesn't grow on trees — and even if it did, I wouldn't spend $14 on avocado toast.

OK, so maybe you're like, "Who are YOU — you random 26-year-old BuzzFeed editor with not an ounce of training in the culinary arts — to tell ME avo toast is overrated? You can fuck off."

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But good people everywhere are starting to call out avo toast. Enough is enough.

Even Anthony Bourdain agrees! It's fine, sure, but NOTHING TO GET A BONER OVER.

NBC

So in conclusion: Don't give it up because you could otherwise buy a house. Give it up because it's simply Not. That. Good.

HBO
  1. Anyway, tell me I'm right: Avocado toast is def overrated.

    Anyway, tell me I'm right: Avocado toast is def overrated.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    You know, you're 100% right!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Nope, avocado toast is the BEST!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Why don't you mind your own business, buddy?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Did you actually get paid to write this?
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Anyway, tell me I'm right: Avocado toast is def overrated.
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