1. I mean, one would hope.
2. Some people love their jobs too much.
3. If only B were true!
4. Follow-up: Aren’t C and D basically the same thing?
5. The free market might say otherwise.
6. D also sounds fun, though.
7. Shouldn’t B also be true?
8. Funeral home scoop!
9. A or C also seem like reasonable options (depending on which state you live in).
- The suspect wanted for killing 39 people at an Istanbul nightclub on New Year's Day has been captured, Turkish media report.
- At least 40 Democratic lawmakers are boycotting Donald Trump's inauguration after the president-elect criticized civil rights leader John Lewis.
- Prime Minister Theresa May will set out a "hard Brexit" plan during a speech about Britain leaving the European Union.
- Spencer's Gifts is getting flooded with criticism for selling "Grab America by the Pussy" shirts, which many say normalizes sexual assault.