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10 People You Shouldn't Pinch This St. Patty's Day

St. Patrick's Day is upon us! Full of festivities and tradition, it's hard not to be excited. Because of that, I know it's tempting to pinch those party poopers who don't wear green on St. Patty's Day, but here are a few people you should just leave alone.

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1. This Member of Hell's Angels

Roy Lister

The Hell's Angels do a ton of nice things, such as buying children's bikes from Walmart to donate to Toys-For-Tots. But if you see this guy not wearing green on St. Patty's Day, which is a HUGE possibility, keep that thumb and index finger combo to yourself 'cause you might just see a whole different side to him: his fist.

2. This Bouncer

With packed bars and nightclubs all throughout St. Patty's Day, this is one guy who's side you wanna be on. Pinch him only if you feel like getting kicked out of the club and kicked in the mouth back-to-back within a period of 2 seconds.

3. This Guy Daydreaming

This dude has so much crappy stuff going on in his life, just let him have his moment alone with his dreams. No matter what, he is still a struggling comedy writer imagining himself winning over the crowd at the Apollo, so don't wake him up early and add injury to insult by pinching him.

5. Charlie's Brother

Come on people, give this guy a break. It's bad enough he got bit by his younger brother and everyone and their mother saw it, but now we have to add to his misery? (If you can't help it, at least get your camcorder out so you can be the next viral sensation)

6. That Disney Actor From "The Luck of the Irish"

Yepp, Ryan Merriman. Cut this guy some slack. When your peak is a movie on Disney Channel where you play a leprechaun basketball player, you don't need to be kicked when you're down. That police officer from Psych already did that in the movie anyways.

8. This Penny

If you wanna be the life of the party, you can't be stingy. Plus, if you buy a round for everyone at the bar, you'll easily be the most popular person there. Also don't make this pinch-a-penny joke on St. Patty's Day because people will groan and ignore you.

9. Blind Movie Critic, Tommy Edison

This movie critic already went through most of his life being asked if his grandfather was Thomas Edison by high school wiseguys, so just lay off him for accidentally wearing the wrong colored shirt. He's great at criticizing movies, and he'll be even better at criticizing you.

10. Me

I might be "Friendly John" when I'm standing next to a port-o-potty bearing the same name, but I can turn into "Badass Fightin' John" if you pinch me on St. Patty's Day and you're not my grandma pinchin' my cheeks telling me how handsome I am before handing me a tasty plate of home-cooked corned beef and cabbage.

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