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10 Christmas Cards For The Scrouge You Know.

I hate Christmas cards, but I wouldn’t be too upset if I got one of these. At least they reflect my grumpy nature.

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For the militantly anti-Christmas

Some snowflakes are the same. Deal with it. And stab some of them.
Via notonthehighstreet.com

Some snowflakes are the same. Deal with it. And stab some of them.

For people who wish Giant Santa would go on a brutal rampage

Like, I don’t know, trample a city, cause thousands of death and admit that he only wears red because Coca Cola told him to.
Via notonthehighstreet.com

Like, I don’t know, trample a city, cause thousands of death and admit that he only wears red because Coca Cola told him to.

For those who want to invoke the wrath of Batman

Because he must be pretty sick of it by now. And did you know robins are fiercely territorial killers?
Via notonthehighstreet.com

Because he must be pretty sick of it by now. And did you know robins are fiercely territorial killers?

For those looking forward to snowmen melting

What if your Snowman is allergic to carrots and that’s what stops him coming to life, eh? EH!?
Via notonthehighstreet.com

What if your Snowman is allergic to carrots and that’s what stops him coming to life, eh? EH!?

For the honest glutton

All that Christmas weight you’ll have to try and get rid of. Hips never quite look as good again, do they?
Via notonthehighstreet.com

All that Christmas weight you’ll have to try and get rid of. Hips never quite look as good again, do they?

For the one who’d rather be breaking bad

Admit it, separating your mind from your body at this time of year would be pretty sweet, wouldn’t it?
Via notonthehighstreet.com

Admit it, separating your mind from your body at this time of year would be pretty sweet, wouldn’t it?

For the surrealist

A badger juggling a food no-one actually likes. Seriously, all the good food available, and someone voted for sprouts!?
Via notonthehighstreet.com

A badger juggling a food no-one actually likes. Seriously, all the good food available, and someone voted for sprouts!?

For the paranoid

They’re everywhere! I can feel their tiny eyes all over me! They’re in the tree…
Via notonthehighstreet.com

They’re everywhere! I can feel their tiny eyes all over me! They’re in the tree…

For the cat-lover (seemed appropriate for this place)

Thank goodness for our favourite little psychopaths who don't care at all about Christmas.
Via notonthehighstreet.com

Thank goodness for our favourite little psychopaths who don't care at all about Christmas.

For the all-round grumpy git like myself

And you can stick your flaming pudding up your Aga.
Via notonthehighstreet.com

And you can stick your flaming pudding up your Aga.

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