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    89 Thoughts Upon Being Invited To Taylor Swift's House

    Last weekend I attended the 1989 Secret Session in Nashville. Here's how it went down.

    1. Ugh. A call from a blocked number, should I answer? I guess I'll answer.

    2. Hopefully it's not my ex. We're not getting back together.

    3. OMG. It's Taylor Swift's people.

    4. "Do you have a few minutes?"

    5. Of course I have a few minutes *cancels all of the plans*

    6. "Can you be in Nashville at 4 PM on Sunday for a secret event?"

    7. I mean, I have a wedding but they'll understand right?

    8. This kind of thing only happens once in a lifetime.

    9. ***No sleep for 5 days****

    10. Today's the day. How should I dress?

    11. Should I wear plaid?

    12. I think I'll wear plaid. Taylor probably likes plaid.

    13. Ahhh it's time!!

    14. ***Arrives in empty parking lot***

    15. Is this the right place?

    16. I think I saw something like this on an episode of Criminal Minds…

    17. Oh, there's a boy in a cat T-shirt and a cardigan, so I think I'm okay.

    18. There's a party bus!

    19. Time to go through security.

    20. Too excited to even care that there's a grown man wanding my groin.

    21. I'm on the bus. Wow these seats are nice. I really need a couch like this.

    22. I wonder where we're going?

    23. Why didn't I pee before we left?

    24. Oooh, this is a really nice part of town.

    25. Wow, that's a beautiful house.

    26. Wait, the gate is opening. THE GATE IS OPENING.

    27. I feel like Harry Potter when he discovered "The Chamber of Secrets!"

    28. Yesss, finally, a bathroom.

    29. THE PAPER TOWELS HAVE AN "S" ON THEM!

    30. I should probably take one. Also mints. All the mints.

    31. Oooooh! Do I smell food?

    32. Yesss. Such food. Much sushi.

    33. Diet Coke, because naturally.

    34. I want to eat everything and nothing at the same time. My hands are shaking.

    35. Shoot, everybody's going inside; *stuffs California Roll in mouth*

    36. Look at that little statue up on the mantle! It looks just like a record player.

    37. Definitely a Grammy Award.

    38. Time to take a seat! I'm glad she put pillows on the cold, hard ground.

    39. OMG. There's Taylor Swift. In stilettos. And a jet-black romper. Also red lipstick.

    40. SLAY ME.

    41. Did she really start tonight with a moment of silence for Becky?

    42. I HAVE LOST ALL ABILITY TO "EVEN"

    43. She just asked us if it was okay for her to play her whole album.

    44. Nah Taylor, I just came for the chicken nuggets.

    45. Let's be honest, they were on point though. I wonder where she got them?

    46. I love that she can't figure out how to work her iPhone.

    47. Here we go!!!

    48. This song is giving me all the feels.

    49. #heavenisforreal

    50. All of her old albums were just practice for this one.

    51. I wish I could tell people about these songs!

    52. One word: FLAWLESS. POP. SASS.

    53. Okay I lied. Three words.

    54. Is she passing out cookies now?

    55. She is. Cookies she actually made.

    56. I'm sorry; but did you say these were CHAI SUGAR WITH CINNAMON EGGNOG ICING?

    57. So Christmas. Christmas is currently in and around my mouth.

    58. Now that I've met Taylor and eaten her food… I really want to meet her cat.

    59. OLIVIA!

    60. I don't know what to focus on… the global superstar or the ball of fluff.

    61. Definitely the ball of fluff.

    62. How is a cat this soft?

    63. WHERE CAN I GET ONE?

    64. Okay, time for the second half.

    65. Ugh, I'm glad they passed out tissues… *tears*

    66. 1989 is nothing less than solid gold perfection riding a pegacorn over a rainbow.

    67. Like people are literally going to be hospitalized because it gets so real.

    68. What am I supposed to do for the next month until it comes out?

    69. Whoa, I know this song!

    70. IT'S SHAKE IT OFF!

    71. Is this real life? I'm actually dancing to this sick beat with Taylor Swift.

    72. Uh-oh. The floor is actually shaking.

    73. Okay, yeah, it's probably for the best the party is moving outside now.

    74. I'm so hot.

    75. On a scale of 1 to "arrested" how much trouble would I get in for jumping in the pool right now?

    76. They just said it's time for Group 1 to go back inside.

    77. Wait, I'm in Group 1!

    78. How did I end up at the front of the line?

    79. "Hi, JohnMark, I'm Taylor"

    80. Wut.

    81. Taylor Swift knows my name.

    82. Did she really just admit she stalked our social media and handpicked all of us??

    83. We're having a conversation. Like, using words and everything!

    84. She has like five houses and dates celebrities and wins awards but I feel like she just gets me?

    85. THE Taylor Swift just gave me a hug.

    86. I'm never washing this shirt.

    87. Do I have to get back on the bus?

    88. Seriously, what kind of celebrity does this??

    89. I don't have a bucket list anymore because Taylor Swift just slayed it.