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I mean, I can get a hotel room and a selfie stick, too!
The world (some of the world) was rocked when Beyoncé released a laid back, fixed-camera video for her song 7/11. The casual style of footage made about 19 million people think "I've danced in my underwear in a hotel room. I might be Beyonce!"
These people were wrong.
You fall down in your bathroom all the time! Were you being filmed?
Did *you* have six global tours?!
This is how Beyoncé looks when Beyoncé falls.
You look different when you fall.
Chair Dance Difficulty: moderate.
But you could do it! You could do it and win 17 Grammys.
When Beyoncé sits in a chair, sun rays gently, angelically push her in a circle.
She is the one with the Grammys.
You can do a booty bounce that looks like this, maybe.
This is your video!
This is Beyoncé. She can spin her cheeks like a Rubix Cube.
That is different from what you do.
Oh, right. It's choreographed dance.
It's a dance she's doing with her "friends." Like the dance she did at the Super Bowl halftime show with different "friends."
You have a hairdryer or could find one quickly!!
That's YOU with the separate wikipedia page just for your awards!
The hairdryer does not appear to be on.
Beyoncé is the wind witch supreme.
Pssh, wrapping-paper-tube-light-saber-battling is so 2002-with-your-brother.
You don't even care about this any more.
Oh, god she's right.
You do care! You very, very do!
Here's a shot of someone and her friends hanging out.
You and your friends hang out.
Those are back (it) up dancers and they'd never let you be the top of the booty pyramid.
These aren't your friends. Your friends are different, and unique, and not probably being paid.
Drunk in a hotel lobby! Nice! Did your friend's cousin just get married too!?
Sorry, couldn't see the $350 million net worth in the first gif. Whoopsie!
You win the job of being Beyoncé.