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    22 Things You'd Never Hear An English Literature Student Say

    "But that's not what the author could have possibly meant!"

    1. “Look, what if the author just wrote that because they wanted to write it like that.”

    2. "It's impossible to bring Marxism into this debate."

    3. “I actually read for pleasure more now my degree is basically just reading.”

    4. “I think 5 contact hours a week is totally reasonable given that I’m paying the same as Sciences students.”

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    5. “Actually, I think I’ll read every book on the reading list, even if we’re only writing essays on two, it’s good to read around the period/genre.”

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    6. “That’s not problematic at all.”

    7. “I think Wikipedia is damaging academic study, and don’t get me started on SparkNotes.”


    8. “I think I’ll get an early start on my essay, I’d hate to be stuck doing an all-nighter.”


    9. “I know exactly what I want to write my dissertation on.”

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    10. "I like postmodernism because it makes everything so much easier to understand."

    11. "Ideology plays no part in this text."


    12. “Why do we study feminist interpretations of literature and not egalitarian interpretations?”


    13. "Yep, I definitely factored in time to do all my referencing when planning this essay."

    14. "I have never used smart literary terms in regular conversation to impress my scientist friends."

    15. "I think you've unpacked that enough."

    16. "I'm confident this degree will get me a job I love."


    17. "It would be totally ridiculous to fall in love with a character from a book."


    18. #TeamKindle

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    19. "I haven't read the book this week, I don't know how I'm going to survive this seminar."

    Of course you do, you're a pro at this. Get in at the beginning with a smart question, then pepper the conversation with intelligent sounding "Mmmms" and vague questions like, "But to what extent is this particularly text a product of its time?"

    20. "I'm going to use all this free time I have to make sure I'm prepared for my classes."

    21. "Ever since I started studying critical theory, my friends and family are more and more willing to have conversations with me."

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    22. "I regret studying English Literature."

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