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This Is What Anti-Social Media Would Look Like If It Existed

Because even misanthropes need social networks.

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What else don't you care about? Let the internet know here.

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This is a six second video of your friend's dog licking a pot plant. You can watch it forever.

Twatter is perfect for when you're desperate for an expert opinion but will settle for a million uninformed ones instead.

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Have your adolescent shame broadcast to the online world. Forever.

Spill ketchup down your shirt? Have a grumbl. Is your colleague doing that stupid whistling thing with his teeth again? Have a grumbl. Been living a lie as a football fan for the last four years because of that one time you made a comment in the pub about how Arsenal "always try and walk it in"? Have a grumbl.

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Let a loved one know you disapprove. Send a No.

What a lovely fucking sunset. Bastard.

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Cryspace is a hub of news and entertainment that is specifically targeted at making you sad. Customise your cryspace experience so you never stop sobbing.

Rank your friends in order of how dull they are.

Swipe left or right - it really doesn't matter - we're all going to die alone anyway.

Crapchat! For picture messages so boring that even ten seconds will feel too long.