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Living On Your Own: Expectations Vs Reality

In an empty flat, no one can hear you fart.

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1. Expectation: You can be naked all the time and it will be so liberating.

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Reality: It turns out being naked all the time is just cold and dangerous.

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2. Expectation: No one will tempt you into ruining your carb-free summer.


Reality: No one is there to stop you from eating a whole tub of ice cream by yourself.

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3. Expectation: You get to pick whatever you want to watch on TV.

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FINALLY you can get around to watching all those intelligent, subversive films you've been meaning to see for years.

Reality: You just end up watching the same reruns of America's Next Top Model over and over again.

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4. Expectation: You never have to wait to shower.

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Reality: You never have to shower.

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5. Expectation: The washing machine is always going to be free.


You'll never run out of pants again!

Reality: You just turn your pants inside out because no one's watching.

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6. Expectation: You'll become an amazing cook who eats their favourite food all the time.

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Reality: You become a master at cheese on toast.

7. Expectation: Everyone will talk about your legendary parties.

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Reality: Everyone does talk about your legendary parties – but you're the only one there to clean up after them.

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8. Expectation: Your quiet evenings will give you the perfect opportunity to catch up on some reading.


Reality: You spend all your time on social media, desperate for human company.


9. Expectation: There'll be lots of space in the kitchen so you can be organised.


Reality: You find yourself beginning to wonder whether "tidy" was ever even a thing.


10. Expectation: You'll never have to put up with your friends' cheesy taste in music again.

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Reality: Justin Bieber secretly touches your heart and you can listen to him as much as you want.

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11. Expectation: If there's a spider, you'll be totally fucked.

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Reality: You're totally fucked.

12. Expectation: Washing up for one is so easy!

Reality: Suddenly buying more crockery seems the preferable option.

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13. Expectation: You'll have lovely dinner parties for your sophisticated friends.

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Reality: You spend stupid money feeding people who make more than you and they leave without doing the washing up.


14. Expectation: You get to have a pet that will love you unconditionally. / Via Flo Perry

Reality: Instead of staving off loneliness, it becomes the mascot for your loneliness.

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15. Expectation: You get to decide who comes over and who doesn't.

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Reality: Bitter, bitter loneliness.

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16. Expectation: No one will be around when you want to have sex.

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17. Expectation: No more arguing over the thermostat. You can have it hot as you like.

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Reality: Your gas bill is the most terrifying thing you've seen in years.

18. Expectation: Your flat will have the coolest interior design.

MTV / Via Flo Perry

Reality: Not so much.

TabTV / Via Flo Perry

19. Expectation: No one will "borrow" your favourite clothes. / Via Flo Perry

Reality: You cannot "borrow" your housemates' favourite clothes.

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20. Expectation: You will totally cut down on alcohol.

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21. Expectation: You are independent and invincible.

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Reality: You momentarily choke on a biscuit and your entire life flashes before your eyes – and no one is coming to save you.

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22. Expectation: No one will steal your food.


Reality: Your fridge is always empty.

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23. Expectation: It is so awesome having sole access to your own house.


Reality: It is much less awesome when you’re locked out.

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24. Expectation: Everyone will be so impressed by how grown up and sorted out your life is.

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Reality: You have no one else to blame for the state of the house or, in fact, the state of your life in general.

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25. Expectation: You never have to wait to poo.

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Reality: You NEVER have to wait to poo.

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