2. You can get rid of anyone who’s annoying you by building a wall around them and watching them die.
Even if we put aside the various moral, ethical, and legal problems of just killing everybody who pisses you off, do you have any idea how long it takes to build a wall? By the time you’ve even laid the foundations they’ll have gone home and called the police on your murdering ass.
4. Peeing yourself is a pretty regular occurrence.
8. Dating is a smooth, easy process – just a matter of the right formula of actions and steady escalation into romance.
If you actually went out into the real world and just introduced yourself to people walking past your house and attempted to smooth-talk them, you probably wouldn’t end up with a date – just a restraining order.
16. Talking to yourself in the mirror makes it easier to make friends.
Actually, in the real world, mirror talking is reserved purely for psyching yourself up before the big game/speech/rap-off. Otherwise, it’s more likely to scare off potential friends.