17 Lies “The Sims” Told Us About Real Life

In real life there is no rosebud ;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;

1. You have to be in love to WooHoo.

EA Games / Via thedailytouch.com

In real life you can WooHoo with whoever you want, for as long as you want. Except if you call it WooHoo, you probably won’t be WooHoo-ing with anyone soon.

2. You can get rid of anyone who’s annoying you by building a wall around them and watching them die.

EA Games / BuzzFeed / Via cartercole.com

Even if we put aside the various moral, ethical, and legal problems of just killing everybody who pisses you off, do you have any idea how long it takes to build a wall? By the time you’ve even laid the foundations they’ll have gone home and called the police on your murdering ass.

3. Drowning people is totally OK.

EA Games / Via funnyjunk.com

Drowning people is not OK.

4. Peeing yourself is a pretty regular occurrence.

NBC
EA Games / Via dailyedge.ie

It’s not. It’s really not. And The Sims did you a massive disservice by letting you believe it was.

5. You have complete control over your appearance.

EA Games / neogaf.com

EA Games / pikdit.com

 

Not in real life. Here, you’re stuck with whichever unfortunate combination of genes your parents landed you with.

6. You can sell a window to buy a pizza if you’re broke.

youtube.com / Jo Barrow / BuzzFeed

You can’t do this. No matter how delicious pizza is, you literally just can’t hack a hole in your wall when you’re hungry. What a terrible idea.

7. Finding a job is easy.

EA Games / Via modthesims.info

Ha. No. It’s not. You’ll spend hours and hours searching for a job, crafting the perfect CV and cover letter, applying, and then NEVER HEARING ANYTHING AGAIN.

8. Dating is a smooth, easy process – just a matter of the right formula of actions and steady escalation into romance.

EA Games / Via neoseeker.com

If you actually went out into the real world and just introduced yourself to people walking past your house and attempted to smooth-talk them, you probably wouldn’t end up with a date – just a restraining order.

9. You will fall for someone with your exact interests.

EA Games / Via imgur.com

You will invariably end up with someone whose interests infuriate you.

10. Growing up is a matter of swirly Disney-esque graphics and sparkles.

EA Games / Jo Barrow / BuzzFeed / Via youtube.com

Growing up is embarrassing and hard enough without confetti to let everyone know you’re “entering the next life stage”.

11. Once you’re on fire, there’s nothing you can do to save yourself.

EA Games / Via satanssims.tumblr.com

Stop flailing your arms, you muppet. Stop, drop, and roll, bitches.

12. You can fix anything with a hammer.

EA Games / Via v0yeurism.tumblr.com

No. Just no.

13. Giving birth doesn’t even require you to get changed.

EA Games/ Jo Barrow / BuzzFeed / Via youtube.com

If only.

14. You are an architectural genius, a whizz kid of interior design.

EA Games / Via simsvip.com

In real life, the nearest thing you get to interior design is replacing all the posters on your wall once in a while.

15. You are a Time Lord. If work is going slowly, just fast-forward through it.

EA Games / Via wikihow.com

Time will, in fact, go more slowly when you are at work in the real world.

16. Talking to yourself in the mirror makes it easier to make friends.

Actually, in the real world, mirror talking is reserved purely for psyching yourself up before the big game/speech/rap-off. Otherwise, it’s more likely to scare off potential friends.

17. It’s fine to hire a maid purely to hook up with them.

EA Games / Via sooziq.com

Pretty certain this violates several employee-employer codes.

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