1. We've run out of ways to say, "It's so hot outside."
And are more than ready to replace it with our arsenal of variations on: "It's getting a bit nippy now, isn't it?"
2. British men can finally quietly retire their knees until next year.
At ease, boys.
3. We were beginning to feel a bit vulnerable without our umbrellas.
"Hello brolly, old chum. It's good to see you again."
4. This summer has been a constant disappointment for a nation that loves to be disappointed.
It was relentlessly sunny and beautiful. Whatever happened the good old three-day-long British summer?
5. Now there are new things to complain about!
Not new new, but different from the summer complaints we've been fielding for the last few months.
6. And any dark, cold walk home can be instantly transformed into something magical if you put on the Harry Potter soundtracks.
7. Bonfire night!
And all the outdoor drinking near massive open fires that comes with it.
8. The start of a football season which won't shame us on a national level.
Cheers Brazil, but we'll go back to our beloved Premier League.
9. Rugby season!
Slide as appropriate for why that warms your cold English heart during the colder months.
Slide as appropriate for why that warms your cold English heart during the colder months.
Slide as appropriate for why that warms your cold English heart during the colder months.
10. Proper TV begins again!
X Factor, Strictly, the better half of Bake Off...
11. It is no longer salad season.
Bring on the Yorkshire puddings.
12. Britain in autumn is BEAUTIFUL.
If you're into lush greens and oranges, which we are.
13. Every time is time for tea in autumn.
We stayed loyal throughout the summer months, but there's nothing more satisfying than a decent cuppa in wintery November when it's really needed.
14. Hats!
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You can keep your floppy straw things – everyone looks good in a knitted beanie.
15. Time to welcome rain back into our lives like an old friend.
16. Knitwear.
Autumn knitwear is the greatest kind of knitwear. There's a short space of time between needing thin cardigans and the advent of ironic christmas-jumpers, and that's autumn, aka peak oversized-cable-knit-jumper season.
17. It's finally time to replace dainty summery cakes with proper crumpets in afternoon tea.
And breakfast, lunch, and dinner as well, if we're being honest.
18. Autumn is a glorious window between your hay fever ending and your cold beginning.
Make the most of it.
19. Having to wear so many layers is basically an invitation to eat as much as you want, all season.
No reason to let anyone else have that last potato now, is there?
20. It's cooler, so we can finally get a decent night's sleep.
We're talking about a two-legs-under-the-duvet situation again. Hurrah!
21. It's so cold outside that your options for fun are limited to staying in and going to the pub.
Not that we're complaining.
22. The clocks go back!
That means an EXTRA HOUR OF SLEEP! Rejoice, people of Britain!
Autumn, you are the best.
