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Are You Even A Vaguely Competent Human Being?

Save these results and send them to your parents to prove them wrong.

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  1. 1. Are you a fully functioning adult?

    Check off everything you do.

    I get up before midday at the weekends.
    I can sew a button.
    I can iron a shirt.
    I can do laundry.
    I know how to check the gas meter.
    I can load a dishwasher correctly.
    I can replace a lightbulb.
    I eat vegetables at least once a day.
    I know how to hang a frame.
    I can remove a red wine stain.
    I can cook a vegetarian meal that isn't pasta.
    I can change a vacuum bag.
    I can wrap a present neatly.
    I can keep a plant alive.
    I can assemble flatpack furniture.
    I can make - and keep - plans more than three weeks in advance.
    I can hold a conversation on the phone.
    I can remove spiders from my house without fear.
    I shower even when I have no plans to leave the house.
    I keep track of all my direct debits.
    I stop drinking when I'm drunk.
    I exercise regularly.
    I can ride a bike.
    I can fix a puncture.
    I can drive a car.
    I can replace a tire.
    I can jumpstart a car.
    I can read a real map.
    I floss.
    I am cautious with my presence on social media.
    I can make a cake with a recipe.
    I understand basic cooking hygiene.
    I have thrown a dinner party.
    I can sharpen a knife.
    I can boil an egg to soft or hard boiled.
    I can make a proper cup of coffee.
    I can make a decent stock.
    I know how to unblock a toilet.
    I know how to hold a baby.
    I can change a nappy.
    I know what should be recycled.
    I actually recycle.
    I compost.
    I vote.
    I can write a formal letter.
    I can correctly identify how many stamps to use.
    I can do my taxes.
    I have a savings account.
    I have a pension.
    I have an organised folder of important documents.
    I see my family regularly.
    I know when and how much to tip.
    I understand inflation.
    I have insurance.
    I have a good credit rating.
    I see the doctor when I am sick.
    I visit the dentist regularly.
    I know how to remove a splinter.
    I can shuffle a deck of cards.
    I understand Facebook's privacy settings.
    I can use basic HTML formatting.
    I can touch type.
    I know how to back up my information.
    I know where in the world most countries are.
    I understand the basic principles of the major world religions.
    I understand the electoral system.
    I always remember someone's name after being introduced.
    I can confidently request the bill at a restaurant.
    I pay attention to the news.
    I dress appropriately for the weather.
    My bedroom is tidy more often than it isn't.

Are You Even A Vaguely Competent Human Being?

Now click on the range below to find out what that means!

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  1. Pick the number you got in the above quiz


Are You Even A Vaguely Competent Human Being?

You got: not even a slightly functioning adult.

How have you even survived this far in life? Go and learn something, quick, before your lack of basic life skills gets you in trouble. That, or just become super rich and pay everyone to sort your life out for you.

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You got: relatively functioning adult.

You’ve learned the basics, and you’re not at a total loss when it comes to adulthood, but you learned a long time ago to fake it til you make it, so that’s what you’ll continue to do.

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You got: fully functioning adult!

You're the one making the rest of us look bad, with your practical skills and common sense; you have your life totally together and you're absolutely bossing adulthood. Your awesome level of practical knowledge shows how mature you are, and how ready you are to face adulthood - even if sometimes you don't feel that way.

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You got: quite well functioning adult!

You're almost there, you know all the important things in life, it's just the more specialised things that you haven't quite learned yet - but you can take care of yourself out there in the big wide world and that's what matters.

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