1. I feel like someone's behind me.
2. Obviously it's my husband because he's the only other person home right now.
3. I'll just slowly turn around to face my husband.
4. In less than a second I will be seeing my husband's face.
5. My husband has a normal, human face.
6. Wow, it's chilly in here.
7. Turning around and…
8. This is definitely NOT what I was expecting.
9. Um, YIKES????
10. Hate this feeling of pure terror.
11. It's really stressful!
12. Hate it!
13. This is CLEARLY not my husband.
14. This looks like some sort of horrifying supernatural being.
15. It's spooky as fuuuuuuuuuuuh.
16. OK this is awkies.
17. Am I supposed to make eye contact?
18. I'm just gonna run out of the house because this is legit scary.
19. Should I grab a sweater?
20. NO TIME.
21. TOO SPOOKY.
22. I'm not looking behind me because if that ghost followed me OH HELL NAH.
23. Am I dumb for not Instagramming that ghost?
24. Should I go back?
25. No, too terrifying.
26. What do I do now?
27. I guess get froyo?
28. How long does the average haunting last?
29. I guess I should Google it.
30. How did my house get so haunted?
31. Where did I go wrong?
32. I knew that antique credenza was cursed.
33. But I'm a sucker for credenzas and I brought this on myself.
34. If I get rid of the credenza will the ghost go away?
35. I mean, I don't think I should make any rash decisions about getting rid of furniture.
36. It's not like I can prove it was haunted and then if I get rid of it and the ghost is still there I'll be SO pissed.
37. Do we need to move?
38. I don't think I'm prepared to live a ghost-based lifestyle.
39. I feel like maybe I should not be hosting book club this week.
40. If that ghost comes back while we're discussing The Secret Life of Bees, Linda will surely be freakin'.
41. Where the eff is my husband btw????
42. Damn, that ghost was wack.
43. I may have urinated back there.
44. Will def need to clean that up at some point.