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23 Times Asos Went Too Far

The world is a weird place.

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3.

asos.com

Joanna: This fanny pack was only OK until it got the pompom upgrade it so desperately needed.

Chelsea: I appreciate that this leathered lady look was softened by some whimsical poms. She's hardcore but approachable, ya know?

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13.

us.asos.com

Joanna: If I wore this, nothing could stop me from running around screaming "Wub wub wub wub!" and then rolling around on the floor and picking up dust.

Chelsea: I'd go straight to HR after repeatedly forcing people to touch it.

15.

asos.com

Joanna: This is one of those universally flattering silhouettes.

Chelsea: If you wear this around a bunch of drunk people or a boat where people are likely to get sea-sick, you kind of deserved to be barfed on. Because you caused it, you were the straw that broke the camel's back, you goddamn monster.

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18.

Asos / Via bit.ly

Joanna: Be careful with this. The second you put them on you're transported back to 2002 and time travel is potentially dangerous.

Chelsea: For when you're trying to blend in but you're born to stand out.

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23.

Asos / Via bit.ly

Joanna: If I forget to wiggle, I'd like a butt to remind me.

Chelsea: If you need your butt to remind you to wiggle, you need to take a cold, hard look in the mirror and wonder what's keeping you from wiggling in the first place. Is it the sun? Your 5th grade teacher? The Wiggle Police? Who knows, but you gotta get to the bottom of it.

Joanna: It's the Wiggle Police.