back to top

23 Times Asos Went Too Far

The world is a weird place.

Posted on

1.

Joanna: Imagine how many people would be touching those pompoms all day long. What a nightmare.Chelsea: Do not get caught in the rain in these. I repeat: NO RAIN, unless you want soggy pom monsters.
asos.com

Joanna: Imagine how many people would be touching those pompoms all day long. What a nightmare.

Chelsea: Do not get caught in the rain in these. I repeat: NO RAIN, unless you want soggy pom monsters.

2.

Joanna: Step 1. Go to the craft store. Step 2. Buy pompoms. Step 3. Ball out.Chelsea: If even ONE pom falls off, it ruins the whole look. Disaster.
asos.com

Joanna: Step 1. Go to the craft store. Step 2. Buy pompoms. Step 3. Ball out.

Chelsea: If even ONE pom falls off, it ruins the whole look. Disaster.

3.

Joanna: This fanny pack was only OK until it got the pompom upgrade it so desperately needed.Chelsea: I appreciate that this leathered lady look was softened by some whimsical poms. She's hardcore but approachable, ya know?
asos.com

Joanna: This fanny pack was only OK until it got the pompom upgrade it so desperately needed.

Chelsea: I appreciate that this leathered lady look was softened by some whimsical poms. She's hardcore but approachable, ya know?

4.

Joanna: Don't do this!!!! You'll be coughing up glitter for days.Chelsea: But imagine your poop!! So beautiful.
asos.com

Joanna: Don't do this!!!! You'll be coughing up glitter for days.

Chelsea: But imagine your poop!! So beautiful.

5.

Joanna: I am 100% sure this is what you wear to murder someone.Chelsea: Would be a great costume if you wanted to dress up as the monster from Pan's Labyrinth (I do).
asos.com

Joanna: I am 100% sure this is what you wear to murder someone.

Chelsea: Would be a great costume if you wanted to dress up as the monster from Pan's Labyrinth (I do).

6.

Joanna: I just stared at these for a long time.Chelsea: I don't know what to say besides these viscerally upset me.
asos.com

Joanna: I just stared at these for a long time.

Chelsea: I don't know what to say besides these viscerally upset me.

7.

Joanna: I had all the bridesmaids at my wedding wear this. In this color.Chelsea: This is my wedding dress.
asos.com

Joanna: I had all the bridesmaids at my wedding wear this. In this color.

Chelsea: This is my wedding dress.

8.

Joanna: Do you have to have a squad to wear this? What if you wear it alone in a self-serve froyo place eating froyo by yourself and crying? That's what I would do.Chelsea: Same.
asos.com

Joanna: Do you have to have a squad to wear this? What if you wear it alone in a self-serve froyo place eating froyo by yourself and crying? That's what I would do.

Chelsea: Same.

9.

Joanna: Honestly, I don't trust my squad to not just leave me in a dumpster.Chelsea: If your squad loses you, maybe it's time to lose your squad.
us.asos.com

Joanna: Honestly, I don't trust my squad to not just leave me in a dumpster.

Chelsea: If your squad loses you, maybe it's time to lose your squad.

10.

Joanna: If you like jackets but LOVE doodads, man, this is for you.Chelsea: I think the jacket is just doubling as an earring holder. And I appreciate that.
asos.com

Joanna: If you like jackets but LOVE doodads, man, this is for you.

Chelsea: I think the jacket is just doubling as an earring holder. And I appreciate that.

11.

Joanna: I actually would wear this IF it didn't involve sequin camel toe.Chelsea: I prefer my camel toe to be sequined so this is perfect for my needs.
asos.com

Joanna: I actually would wear this IF it didn't involve sequin camel toe.

Chelsea: I prefer my camel toe to be sequined so this is perfect for my needs.

12.

Joanna: I feel like the back of this romper thing is a portal to another dimension.Chelsea: Eleven's outfit for next season.
asos.com

Joanna: I feel like the back of this romper thing is a portal to another dimension.

Chelsea: Eleven's outfit for next season.

13.

Joanna: If I wore this, nothing could stop me from running around screaming "Wub wub wub wub!" and then rolling around on the floor and picking up dust.Chelsea: I'd go straight to HR after repeatedly forcing people to touch it.
us.asos.com

Joanna: If I wore this, nothing could stop me from running around screaming "Wub wub wub wub!" and then rolling around on the floor and picking up dust.

Chelsea: I'd go straight to HR after repeatedly forcing people to touch it.

14.

Joanna: This was the second runner up for what I wanted my bridesmaids to wear.Chelsea: This is the kind of thing I'd wear to court.
asos.com

Joanna: This was the second runner up for what I wanted my bridesmaids to wear.

Chelsea: This is the kind of thing I'd wear to court.

15.

Joanna: This is one of those universally flattering silhouettes. Chelsea: If you wear this around a bunch of drunk people or a boat where people are likely to get sea-sick, you kind of deserved to be barfed on. Because you caused it, you were the straw that broke the camel's back, you goddamn monster.
asos.com

Joanna: This is one of those universally flattering silhouettes.

Chelsea: If you wear this around a bunch of drunk people or a boat where people are likely to get sea-sick, you kind of deserved to be barfed on. Because you caused it, you were the straw that broke the camel's back, you goddamn monster.

16.

Joanna: Are you looking for a sweater with lettuce holes?Chelsea: This is an assault against people with trypophobia and I'm upset.
asos.com

Joanna: Are you looking for a sweater with lettuce holes?

Chelsea: This is an assault against people with trypophobia and I'm upset.

17.

Joanna: "AWKWARD LENGTH" IS PART OF THE PRODUCT NAME!!!!!!!

Chelsea: I can't wait to see the "pleated shitty capris" next season.

18.

Joanna: Be careful with this. The second you put them on you're transported back to 2002 and time travel is potentially dangerous.Chelsea: For when you're trying to blend in but you're born to stand out.
Asos / Via bit.ly

Joanna: Be careful with this. The second you put them on you're transported back to 2002 and time travel is potentially dangerous.

Chelsea: For when you're trying to blend in but you're born to stand out.

19.

Joanna: I guess if you're going to wear a poncho, it might as well have unicorns and rainbows on it.Chelsea: I appreciate the front pocket.
Asos / Via bit.ly

Joanna: I guess if you're going to wear a poncho, it might as well have unicorns and rainbows on it.

Chelsea: I appreciate the front pocket.

20.

Joanna: ADIDAS COULOTTES ALERT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.Chelsea: Life hack! Buy Adidas shorts a size too big for half the price!
us.asos.com

Joanna: ADIDAS COULOTTES ALERT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Chelsea: Life hack! Buy Adidas shorts a size too big for half the price!

21.

Joanna: It's nice to give your legs each their own individual skirt.Chelsea: I bet this would look rad on a professional hula hooper.
us.asos.com

Joanna: It's nice to give your legs each their own individual skirt.

Chelsea: I bet this would look rad on a professional hula hooper.

22.

Joanna: I don't need a t-shirt making me feel bad about not accomplishing more in life.Chelsea: This is a "if you see something, say something" situation.
Asos / Via bit.ly

Joanna: I don't need a t-shirt making me feel bad about not accomplishing more in life.

Chelsea: This is a "if you see something, say something" situation.

23.

Joanna: If I forget to wiggle, I'd like a butt to remind me.Chelsea: If you need your butt to remind you to wiggle, you need to take a cold, hard look in the mirror and wonder what's keeping you from wiggling in the first place. Is it the sun? Your 5th grade teacher? The Wiggle Police? Who knows, but you gotta get to the bottom of it.Joanna: It's the Wiggle Police.
Asos / Via bit.ly

Joanna: If I forget to wiggle, I'd like a butt to remind me.

Chelsea: If you need your butt to remind you to wiggle, you need to take a cold, hard look in the mirror and wonder what's keeping you from wiggling in the first place. Is it the sun? Your 5th grade teacher? The Wiggle Police? Who knows, but you gotta get to the bottom of it.

Joanna: It's the Wiggle Police.

The best things at three price points