back to top

The 25 Most Depressing Nail Polish Color Names Of All Time

Whoever names nail polish shades is sending out a serious cry for help.

Posted on

25. Plenty Of Fish In The Sea

This shade reminds you that you'll find someone else. Only a modest percentage of people die alone. Probably. There are no statistics to back that up.

24. Keep Up The Flame

If you have to be told to "keep up the flame" you're in one of three terrible scenarios:

1. Your camp fire is about to die down before everyone's had a chance to make a s'more.

2. Your camp fire is about to die down leaving your party at risk to die of exposure in these icy cold temps.

3. You're in a loveless marriage.


21. Conga Line

Have you ever tried to start a conga line? People are SO reluctant to join on. You can usually only get one person to agree to it, maximum. And that's not a conga line, that's two people fooling themselves about every decision they've ever made.

19. Shocking Seas

We've lost many good men on these shocking seas. Maybe if the seas weren't so shocking, so unforgiving, they'd be home right now eating a chicken pot pie. Instead of dead.


14. Spaghetti Strap

Have you ever seen anyone successfully pull off a spaghetti strap since 1999? You couldn't possibly have. And that was the year my math teacher would make you wear her old lady blazer if you wore spaghetti straps in her class.


5. Are Mermaids Real?

I do not want to be on the receiving end of this question. And even if they were real, have you ever read the Hans Christian Andersen version of The Little Mermaid? There's no singing crab. And if there were a crab, he would not be singing after what happens.

4. Mr. Sandman

If we're talking about the Sandman the Chordette's sang about, then fine, we're not going to have a problem. But if we're talking about the Sandman Metallica sang about, then I'm terrified to summon him through the power of nail color.

2. No Place Like Chrome

Who is saying this? A robot? Is Pixar's WALL-E saying this? Oh my god he's sentient and so aloooooooone. I've actually never seen this film because I fear I won't be able to handle it, emotionally.


Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!