1. The Lunch Stealer
You get a bunch of people cooped up in a building working for eight or more hours — no food is safe. Everyone reverts back to a primal state. Watch your precious lunch or that yogurt you’re saving for later. You may never see its sweet little food face again. And be warned, for a real lunch stealer, writing your name on it is just a provocation.
4. The Bathroom Talker
Seeing people you know, and maybe even like, in the bathroom on a daily basis can get a little weird. The Bathroom Talker feels like you expelling waste from your body is the perfect opportunity to ask about that upcoming project or just ask how your dog is doing.
5. The Health Obsessed
They’re juicin’, they’ve already managed to bring up kale at least once today, and their chair is either one of those big balls or nonexistent because they go to the standing desk or they go home. They even sent you a link to this creepy Washington Post diagram about the dangers of sitting. And all this is well and good but they will not shut up about it.
6. The Headphone Violator
There’s always someone who inexplicably starts playing videos or music on their computer without using headphones, as if no one will mind. Maybe they forgot their headphones. Maybe they’re a complete maniac. But they just emerge from the shadows, openly playing sound as if we don’t all live by the headphones code. This can also apply to people who turn their headphones up too loud to jam along to some techno.
8. The Coffee Slurper
Coffee. Of course. The official drink of the office. But some people are REALLY bad at drinking it. They slurp at about 140 decibels (roughly the same as a jet engine). Can’t you just drink it? For god’s sake, just let the liquid into your mouth.
16. The Passionate Luncher
Lunch is the one thing we have to look forward to in this dark, terrible world. But The Passionate Luncher has really strong opinions about it and takes it even more seriously than their job. They’re asking you what you got for your lunch. They’re ranking the local options with strong words, maybe even swear words. And when it’s lunchtime, quite honestly, they get a little scary.
- The White House refuses to deny a report saying Trump administration officials gave the House intelligence chairman classified information.
- The controversial HB2 "bathroom law" in North Carolina was partially repealed, but LGBT activists say the repeal legislation still allows discrimination.
- The disgraced former president of South Korea has been arrested. Park Geun-hye was forced out of office earlier this month in a corruption scandal.
- SpaceX has launched and landed a recycled rocket for the first time. It's a big step towards making space flight cheaper ♻️🚀