Music

An Open Letter From Miley Cyrus' Sledgehammer

Yes, the one she licks.

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Dear world,

Yes, the one she licks.

Yes, multiple times.

Most sledgehammers get carried around by gruff construction workers who would never even remotely consider licking them.

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And yeah, most of those construction workers have never even had a song make it into the Billboard Hot 100.

Oh, no one? Well, that was a bad example.

And to the haters out there, you're just jealous. How many times have you been licked by Miley Cyrus? Probably zero. I mean, there's maybe like a 5 percent chance that you have, but that's still pretty low.

Miley's new video is just a reflection of what happens when a woman and a sledgehammer love each other very much.

Sincerely,