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17 Things Everyone Wants To Do On A First Date But Shouldn't

First dates are the worst.

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4. Hide in the bathroom.

Flickr: cloppy

As soon as you leave for the bathroom, the judgement clock is ticking. If you give into the temptation of hiding out in your bathroom sanctuary of solitude, you risk looking like you have digestive issues, which often, though not always, detract from romance.


5. Wear sweatpants.

Flickr: cloppy

A high stress situation like a date should lend itself to comfortable clothing like sweatpants or a big poncho, but because the world is a terrible place, this is generally not acceptable date attire.


15. Chew your food the recommended 32 times with each bite for the first time in your life.


British Prime Minister William Gladstone reportedly believed you should chew your food 32 times, once for each tooth. (????) The efficacy of this is debated, but don't think you can escape first date responsibilities because your mouth is full of food. You will run out of food eventually.

16. Respond to questions like "So, what's your passion?" with "Pass."

Yes, this is a stupid, horrible question and if your date asks you this you should consider never seeing them again. But play along for now in the name of love.