1. You have one thing you're REALLY good at. And that's rock locking.
2. You showed not-quite-pants era Christina Aguilera your rock locking skills and she wasn't impressed.
3. You showed this red Solo cup your rock locking skills and it was very impressed.
4. You then went on to skyrocket that red Solo cup's career by featuring it in Sugar Ray's "When It's Over" video.
5. You're in a band with a guy whose "thing" is always wearing a bucket hat.
6. Your tips are perfectly frosted, pointing straight toward heaven.
7. You're a bad boy with total disregard for moped safety.
8. You know that the most efficient way to get serious is: bandana.
9. You defy anyone who says an argyle sweater vest can't rock so hard.
10. Your attitude can be described as nothing less than "in your face."
11. Your facial hair defies explanation.
12. Your default facial expresion is:
13. You know there's no reason business casual can't mix with rockin' out.
14. Kid Rock tells you all his silly little secrets. Tee hee hee.
15. You constantly blow everyone's minds.
16. Hanging out with Eminem makes you stop and ponder life itself.
17. You've mastered outrageous dance moves.
18. You know for a fact that wearing a sweater vest with nothing under it is hands down the best way to show off your tattoos of birds.
19. Gwen Stefani is willing to politely pose for a photo with you.
(Regular, tongue-out-thumbs-up, and of course rock lock)
20. You were doing the tongue thing more than a decade before Miley.
21. You know to exercise caution while rock locking and trucker hatting at the same time.
22. You have just a touch of duck face.
23. You briefly went through a non-pointy hair phase that reflected your deep sense of inner turmoil about what you'd become.
24. You just keep doing you.
